Anatomy of Fractured Thought

 
The holy trinity of me,
I and I and I,
Fractured by misunderstood neural pathways,
Cerebral chemical reactions,
That science is yet to explain,
Always in place,
For decades ignored,
Or at least leashed in,
By a ritualistic self medication,
Befitting my Scottish and Irish heritage,
My self-profession of Warrior Poet,
Writer and seeker of life,
A virtual pugilist,
Knocking myself down and out,
Depression and repression,
Fighting,
That I might live to see another day, week, month and year.
 
The holy trinity of me,
Self actualized and realized,
I and I and I,
Defense mechanisms of a mind confounded,
Confused and abused,
Blessing and curse,
Obstacle and opportunity,
Commenced at birth,
Forged through struggle and strife,
Announcing proudly where once I was ashamed,
That these mighty words require,
My complete attention and affection,
Misunderstood realities that are my cage,
The chains that hold me down,
Yet drive me to seek out fractured redemption,
Once again become whole.
 
The holy trinity of me,
The anatomy of fractured thoughts,
Insurmountable yet percipient,
The dominant I,
Rational and determined,
Sucker punched by the secondary I,
An emotional tidal wave of explosive currents,
Entreating me to my destiny,
Lover, husband and father,
All of which seem like the prevailing wind of change,
Fantasies without accomplishment that pierce my wounded heart,
The third I,
The white tissue of brain that matters,
While black and white turn to grey,
Round four in a twelve round bout,
This altercation yet decided,
Internal judgment and external anticipation,
Of something yet to come.
 
The holy trinity of me,
I and I and I,
Paranoid delusions,
Fantastical illusions of educated discernment,
Manic up and manic down,
The level headed stabilization of me yet complete,
Pharmacological management,
Several pills a day,
Commenced that I may find freedom from my banal dog,
Black,
Howling not at the wind or the moon,
But at my own self-awareness,
Barking its discontent with my desire to push on,
Regardless of this plight,
As today I find the courage to laugh in the tightened face,
Of my prosecuting hound,
Dog.
 
The holy trinity of me,
I and I and I,
Attenuated by therapy and drugs,
Determined that my self worth,
My meaning,
My destiny,
Is held here in high regard,
One piece at a time,
In spite of the very real challenges,
That these split personalities solicit,
Deep within,
My souls entrapment,
Burdened by my minds realizations of real and imagined,
In the absence of love,
Wishing to touch another so deeply,
That in these words,
They discover themselves,
And I can rightfully claim my self-anointed title,
Warrior Poet.
 
SDM

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