Deny Myself…

I can no sooner deny myself,
Of your avail,
And the sweet pleasantries that defy explanation,
The incredible swirling delights,
Those are your treasured gift to me,
I can no sooner deny myself,
Of your avail,
Than I could explain from where in the ether,
These words emerge,
As pearls of wisdom, desire, love and hope,
The words that mystify you,
These words that move you,
Those nourish your soul and entreat your mind,
Finding yourself in an unexpected freefall that is requited,
And these words are my only explanation,
Making it seem senseless to fight myself,
When I wage so many battles with my brain already,
Why shall I fight these intense feelings,
Those have percolated,
Just under the surface,
As seventeen years of repressed passion,
Now seems destined to chart our course,
On the stormy seas of change,
The turbulent discovery of a newly emerging self,
That is not free from the design of independence,
Though it yet requires that you fully be willing to explore,
Without equivocation,
A parade of endless possibilities,
That started with a simple kiss,
That was neither simple nor just a kiss,
As our minds tangled in gymnastics rare,
So why, why, I shout from the storied hills,
Where now I write,
Where now I have truly discovered myself,
A new stride that has me directly on a crash course,
With my intended destiny,
Why, I shout from these blessed hills,
Shall I deny myself,
Of your avail,
When all I want is one kiss more,
One more second on the phone,
One more text that alights a newly forming wonder,
That I want to wander,
I want to explore,
I want to implore,
That no longer must I deny myself,
Of your avail,
As our souls collide,
So no,
I will no longer,
Deny myself of your avail,
But will rather rise up,
Rise up,
To meet the challenge of unlocking your defenses,
Seamlessly weaving my way into your intention,
One kiss,
One moment,
One word at a time,
Yes I shall rise,
Inhaling your essence,
And falling subtly into a heavenly intoxication,
So no,
I will not,
Any longer,
Deny myself,
Of your avail.



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