The Distilled Essence

The distilled essence of I and I and I,
The distilled essence of me,
The parts trying to break through,
To the other side,
The proper side of lunacy,
Feelings that have crushed my spirit,
Those of self loathing and ill repute,
Those that leave me restless,
Praying, though not to a deity,
Save the one of my own salvation,
Resident inside my head,
That some day,
In some way,
Someone may look into the darkness of me,
And in so doing see a light,
That is invisible to everyone else,
The light that holds this soul complete,
Replete with a darkness reigning,
Though not cascading into refuted self control,
My Black Dog ain’t the boss of me.

The distilled essence of I and I and I,
Is here,
In nuggets,
A word here and a phrase there,
Easy enough to see,
Should you stop looking,
And begin seeing,
I am love,
I am compassion,
I am loyalty,
I am kindness,
I am I,

The distilled essence of I and I and I,
Is love,
Nothing more simple,
Than repressed issues of abandonment,
Those resident in me since my early teens,
Where with every ounce of me,
I have sought love,
A full and rewarding love,
A lifetime,
That someone, perhaps you,
Perhaps not,
But someone,
That can finally reach into that light that no one else sees,
That light that you can draw out of me,
The best,
Rather than festering wounds,
The worthwhile,
Rather than the pieces of me,
That I would rather be without,
And together,
You will discover…

‎”To love someone means to see him as God intended him” Fyodor Dostoevsky

Whatever God there is,
He/She/It or they,
Intended me to feel this pain,
Experience this sorrow,
Express it here for all to see,
As a manifestation of love for those I will never meet,
But held true for you,
For you.



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