Monthly Archives: June 2013

The Call

‘It started out as a feeling

Which then grew into a hope’

 

What was it that I was feeling?

What was going on in this worried mind?

Could it be?

Surely it was a feeling that I had not felt,

In quite some time,

A feeling that I had decided to let go of,

For every time those butterflies,

You know the ones,

Started fluttering in my stomach,

Percolating my soul to once again blaze,

I was always left,

Beaten,

Downtrodden by one I thought would never leave,

And they always left,

My faults too much for them to endure.

 

What is this that I am feeling,

Anew,

Outside of rational control,

No,

A different part of my being engaged,

Not a sentimental longing,

But an actual impression,

Left,

Suspended in time,

Your face,

Your beautiful face,

The perfect indication for your searching soul,

Leaving me with thoughts that I had decided,

I didn’t want,

Or need,

For my time is now,

To be the me I always known I have been,

Richly divided parts of the whole,

Saint and Sinner,

Come together,

Again,

Humbled,

Was I wrong?

 

What is this that I am feeling,

Can it be real,

True,

Are the butterflies fluttering to a new migration,

Away from a tormented past,

Toward an enlightened future,

What is going on in this troubled mind,

Where darkness once reigned,

A crack in the decidedly impenetrable fortress,

Still victim to a howling Black Dog,

Though a faint glimmer of hope,

Delivered,

By your smile.

 

What is going on?

Is this real?

Or just another dream to be revealed as nightmare,

Funny how easily,

The human spirit can seek out the divine waters,

Temptation leading to infatuation,

Infatuation leading to lust,

Lust by necessity, at least if the conditions are ripe,

(At least for this weary soul)

To a love,

Requited?

 

What is this feeling?

That for so long has been like trying to comprehend,

The meaning of an emotional Rosetta Stone,

Has hope returned?

Jubilant,

To once again remind me,

That,

In spite of my faults,

Perhaps because of them,

That it is possible,

It is beyond possible,

That hope has found its way,

Back to me,

Are you hope,

In her smile,

Your smile,

That now,

Forces my hopes,

To snub the rational,

For the passionate,

And brings to my life,

A temporary joy,

Which may lead to one with a little more staying power.

 

What is this feeling?

 

‘It started out as a feeling

Which then grew into a hope’

 

SDM

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The Bittersweet

The bittersweet,
Less chocolate,
More, irony,
As with the ascent of emotions true,
So too rises the wave of my Black Dog’s howl,
Like a wolves cry on a full moon night,
Calling out something unknown,
All the while feeling the awkward presence,
Of something as yet understood,
Bittersweet,
The air is thick with the sweat of high stakes poker,
Though there is no tell that can reveal,
What we both know,
We both feel,
We both show our hands,
Though close to our chest they be,
Calling out to each other,
Known,
As I have called so many times to the Ether,
Argued with Hemingway and Picasso,
Flirted with the danger of Zelda,
As I reconsider who and what I am,
On a light cast,
Lingering,
Like the memory of your luminous smile,
Tongue in cheek,
Keeping me going through the days,
Past, present and future,
As a new era nears,
With the passing of time,
That I can finally unleash the hound,
Let loose the ills that have plagued me,
Plunging intensely into wave after wave of your hugs,
Relieving myself of the delicious torment,
That has haunted me all my life,
Strife,
Abandonment,
Loss,
Struggle,
Battle after battle,
Inner destruction,
Outer costumes, one after another,
To hide the true nature of my character,
Hoping that none could see,
But they do,
You do,
As now I press further,
No longer filled with a wanderlust,
But instead satisfied,
With initial surrender,
Complete,
For you,
For me,
For us,
As I believe I know where this yellow brick road goes,
And I will follow,
If you will lead,
I will lead if you need follow,
For in your gaze,
I find,
Myself revealed to myself,
I and I and I wondering if perhaps, this time,
It may be… different,
Here and now,
Instead of there and then,
No longer trapped by the shadow cast,
By a past I can not change,
That I must embrace, face and comprehend,
If I am to arrive at destination me,
With journey you,
Will you journey with me,
Hand in hand,
To another place,
That only we shall know,
Together at last,
Let’s us walk slowly,
Purposefully, with grace and delight,
Marching toward an endless night,
Howling like new lovers,
At our moon,
Swimming in our sea,
Tranquility,
As the ladies of night,
Destiny, Fate and Serendipity cry tears of joy,
As they only do,
With love found,
Like this love, perhaps
Between girl and boy?

Like it’s the first day of my life…

SDM

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Could It Be?

Could it be,
That once seemed far,
Somewhat out of reach,
Is now within our grasp?

That illusive and seemingly always unattainable,
Beacon of hope,
Is right at our fingertips,
Causing our eyes to blink,
A little salivation,
And our hearts to skip a beat?

Love,
Sweet love,
An answer to our prayers,
Infinitely wise,
To be cherished indeed,
The candid expression of both self and selflessness,
A powerful recognition of the full meaning of requited;

Tempting,
Inspiring visions
Of a wonderful today
AND
The magnificent journey to a remarkable tomorrow;

Hand in hand,
Aboard the voyage of this SS Soul Mate,
Passionate to experience,
Every moment,
Savouring  each sensation,
The tingling of fingers,
And the butterflies in the stomach,
Conversations that mean something,
In fact;

Everything,

As two lives continue to begin,
Ever reaching new heights,
The only limit our hearts desire
AND
Our souls passionate dreams;

Could it be?

Could it be?

It is rhetorical –

For here we are,
Lovers touched by the divine,
Forever believing,
Faith anew the day this love began –
Looking in your eyes!

SDM

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This World

This world,

These times we live in,

Are like times we’ve known before,

Not personally, as we haven’t figured out,

Space

AND

Time,

Though we can;

 

We can!

 

Today is the greatest day and ever more it will be;

 

As today is here NOW –

 

Today!

 

We have at our disposal,

The collected knowledge of our species

And,

While we may not yet know how to use it,

Someday,

We will.

 

As such,

With the gift of time,

We must be cautious in the use of the many offerings we have.

In spite of a unifying sagacity

We must always embrace the pursuit of more.

 

Accept that the struggle for understanding,

Will eventually lead to an inner peace

That will manifest outwardly

Instantly creating in that realization

The world that dreamers have long believed in.

 

In that moment,

The rhyme and reason,

Rhythm, harmony and melody

Of greatly admired movements

Will take on new meanings

As we celebrate our spiritual rebirth.

 

Nothing,

Save the eventual success of a true and lasting peace

Will ever exonerate our historical failures:

 

Death,

Destruction,

Famine,

Drought,

Avarice,

Terror and war.

 

Yet should we find that higher state of being,

The relative awareness of a new reality

Shaped by the horrors of history,

We will discover the divine plan!

 

Looking to the sky of this blue marble

Learning about ourselves

And our place in this universe

Everything takes on new import

Through the acquisition of self.

 

Our past replete with invisible scars

From the extensive beating of our ancestors

With the leather whips of Christian, Jew and Muslim conquerors

And our acceptance of it will remove the cuffs,

Histories shackles as we seek truth.

 

We are not chained to our past by necessity

AND

We are not doomed to repeat it.

 

Yet the future is tempered by it

And so long as we unmask our veiled attempts

At sugar coating our past failures

In the search for a better world

We will ultimately succeed in healing age old wounds.

 

Yet that path is the road less taken;

 

Accept truth,

The lessons of our past and that we create our future

And instantly the course of history

Blazes a heretofore unseen trail.

 

In our efforts to reveal honestly our failures

We no longer need to be concealing

The very real feelings we are feeling.

 

Read more;

Listen more,

Learn,

Grow,

Become,

Smile often and brightly,

Allow your true self and soul to shine.

 

Be real,

First to yourself,

Then to those around you,

Act accordingly as that is what true freedom is –

 

Being real!

 

The strength and promise of our species,

All one humanity,

Lay in rediscovering the value and benefit of positive self love,

In so much that we can learn to love others,

Rearing its head in every moment

Incredibly changing the scope of our history:

Permanently promising peace,

Both internal

AND

External.

 

SDM

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Benign Neglect

Benign neglect,
In that we do not see,
Can not see?
Refuse to see?
Bearing false witness,
In gilded churches, synagogues and mosques,
Ivory towers where the powerful feast,
While;
People wasting away on the street,
Right in front of them,
Right in front of us;

Cold and tired,

Hungry and wet,

Dying of starvation, a lack of shelter,

A societal lack of support,

It’s more than that,
Much more;

Ghettos,
Girdles of steel and brick,
Built by the cheapest bidder,
Creating a mental prison,
From which so few can escape.

An economy built on conviction,
Of the underclass that is,
A brave young poet once proclaimed,
Growing up,
In a ‘jail cell economy,’
Motivated by profit.

Schools,
Rat infested and asbestos laden,
As true in New York or London as it is in Vientiane or Vienna,
Blackboards and whiteboards from a different era,
Lessons that are no longer relevant,
Teachers that no longer teach,
Instead guiding the way through some standardized test.

Its hard to care when you’re conditioned to believe that no one else does,
Purple, blue, red, yellow, black and white,
Puddles filled with caps of each,
Representing our fallen youth,
Cocaine, Heroin, Meth and more,
Fall,
Falling,
Fallen…

Lies,
Presented as truth,
An arrogant matter of factness,
Sold by Brian Williams or Tom Brokaw,
The news no longer all that fits to print,
Instead,
Become all that’s fit to instill fear,
Pushing forward sn agenda,
That you nor I never get to vote on,
Profit;

From our comfortable storied walls of power brokers,
Recreation centers,
Parks and the corners,
The breeding ground for both good and bad,
Morality decided by shades of gray,
Innumerbale,
No black or white,
We complain,
While sipping a chardonnay, or a Starbuck’s or a coke,
Yet most of us don’t even vote,
And when we do,
Who are we really electing?

Do you know the faces behind the suit,
Have you ever stopped to ask?
The illusion of choice is not a choice,
But shackles from which we cannot escape,
Who are their masters? Who are yours?
Where do they get their information,
Not to mention the very words that come out of their mouths?

And yet…
Look at the power you give them and look at what they’ve done,
What have they done?

Do none of you see?
Do none of you have the same fears?
Osama was not THE ‘terror,’
Merely one face of it,
A coward that hid behind faulty logic and misrepresented theology,
Once bought and paid for by the very people that label him,
‘Terrorist,’
Driven by hate;

But make no mistake, there are a million more driven by hate and fear.

National populations suffer from starvation –
When is the last time you didn’t finish a meal?

Drought, a lack of access to education,
Technology and science, my education undervalued,
My technology underused ,
As the Advil I take for a hangover could serve a much better purpose.

Prejudice, ignorance and fear,
Blinding society to the clear reality of life on earth today,
Blinding me,
Blinding you.

Milosevic (like so many before him)
Killed without prejudice any that got in his way –
Racial cleansing,
It sound so institutional doesn’t it?
So scientific, lets call it what it is, not make it easy to say –
Genocide (though we promised never again, look around today)

Damn political correctness –
Lets call a spade a spade,
Those mass graves and the videos we’ve seen,
Represent the decision of a sick man,
For the wholesale slaughtering,
Murdering and destruction of Muslims
In his very own modern Oprichnina.

Though, no less guilty are we,
Who sleep comfortably in our beds,
While drones strike far off lands,
Extraordinary rendition takes place,
In the murky grays we never see,
The boogie man is real,
You just never see him,
All in the name of freedom and peace?

Through time, the poet, the artist, the dreamer,
The playwright, actor, director, novelist, philosopher, student,

Any truly inspired by passion have dreamed of a better place –

And maybe,
Just maybe,
We’ve seen bits and pieces,
But there is so much more to go…

What can you do?

What will you do?

What will,

YOU,

Do?

SDM

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Mon Cles Divine

With one look of your eyes,
(Those I had long since believed did not exist)
One peering glance,
(One I never thought I’d see)
You break through the chain male armor,
(Male as in Me)
Of a soul that longed for you,
(Mine)
Prayed for you,
(He/She/It/They or the Ether listened)
Dreamed of you,
(Nightly since a little boy)
With every adult fiber of my being,
(Knowing true Muse must eventually appear)
Considering virtue,
(Despite invitations from the Sirens)
Fostered by an unshakable faith,
(Two souls eventually collide)
An unprecedented belief,
(Save for those with an artistic slant)
In the power which understood,
(More than I ever could)
Acknowledged and revealed,
(With one blessed look)
The infinite wisdom,
(Of blessed truths)
Of love requited unconditional,
(For Muse is always without condition)
On a foundation,
(Rock solid)
Of daily discovery and affirmation,
(Kisses, more kisses)
Love,
(Anew and Reinvigorated)
Angelic grace,
(As your face clearly paints)
Through virtue understated,
(But not mistaken)
By you,
(In spite of my faults; Black Dogs and voices)
In the revealing reflections,
(Of mirrored souls)
Of your eyes,
(The window)
The universe unfolding,
(In multiple dimensions)
One atom at a time,
(The “God” Particle?)
Accelerated,
(With every breath)
By promise,
(At once believed)
And the realization of potential,
(Infinite loops and unified love theory)
On wings only visible,
(Less Icarus and more Cherubim)
By those that truly see,
(And I now can, see)
Through something that can’t be explained,
(Nor should it)
You have come,
(Mon Cles)
And with the grace of the tooth fairy,
(Imagined friends, less imagined)
My pillow,
(Shared)
Every morning,
(A gift from the stars)
Has born the just reward,
(Of a lifetime of want and need)
For the daring,
(I)
The curious,
(And I)
The scared,
(And I)
Who can believe, I and I and I,
(Finally)
In the sacred power,
(Of my Mistresses Serendipity and Fate)
Of a divine trust,
(Between lover and loved)
Love,
(Transcendent)
Wisdom in the revelation of this song,
(Only for you)
That glorious song,
(Syncopated breaths and beats)
All lovers hear,
(Listening to the bodies desire)
At the smack of the soul,
(Meet, Greet and Complete each other)
Manifested by the lips,
(Gleefully, more kisses)
Thank you Sages,
(For revealing to me)
Best friend, confidant, and every day more,
(Knowing what I have always known)
Unleashed,
(With a delirious chuckle and desirous smile)
Virtues eternal curiosity,
(Where these words dance)
Contemplated,
(Every moment of every day)
Love
(You).

SDM

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Invitation to Greatness

In my own self loathing and ignorance of me,
It is so easy to assign blame to the world at large,

(knowing the chemical imbalances that have imprisoned and freed me)

My Black Dog,

Depression,

The Voices (both haunting spectre and invitation to greatness)
For those which thrust me to the edge,
Where on the precipice (s),
I could gaze at the void before me,

Once pharmaceutical intervention,

Now liberated,
Once spitting vitriol,
At any that would listen,
The void that they led me to,
With false hopes and faded promises;
Instead I retreat,
Into my own isolation,
Broken not beaten,
Trying to rejoin my spirit,
Which, momentarily, left my body,
Falling prey and victim,
To the cruel and calculated words that struck me,
Like daggers in the heart,
As my soul bled all over the floor,
Staining more than my ego,
Silence,

Now pronounced absolution,

Found,

in the most unlikely of places;

From the mouths of babes.

In that retreat,
I did not surrender to the darker places in me,
That begged me to give in,
That entreated me to lose all will,
And fall into that devilish place,
Where Gabriel roams,
And Gollum screams of precious,
For surely in the pits of hell,
Or Mordor,
I can see clearly,
What those places begged of me,
Like a game of chess,
Treating me like a pawn,
But no longer will I accept that place,
Those desires,
That are not my own.
Rather a veiled attempt,
To force my hand,
And make me give in,
No I say,
I have not…

I will not!

Drained,
By years of inconsequence,
By people who cared not for me,
Instead using me like a tool,
A hoe or a rake,
A mouthpiece,
A vehicle for their success,
Knowing the full while,
That I was struggling to survive,
They eating from their silver platters,
My eating soup and crackers,
The scent of an alcohol and urine soaked stairwell;

Forever etched on my mind…

No more I say,
No more.

They say that fame is fleeting,
And yet in this hyper celebritized culture,
All are seeking their fifteen minutes,
Warhol said so,
And Campbell’s must be right,
Or Mao,
Or Marilyn,
My internal clock reads the time,
And my fifteen minutes haven’t yet begun,
My destiny starts now,
Here,
With you,

Like a prisoner freed from Plato’s Cave,

Emancipated,

No longer seeing shadows,

Instead,

Imperfectly viewed  realities,

Knowing that I should,

That I can make a difference,

One thinking child at a time;

Fulfilling my promise AND my potential;

Would you like to come?

Will you join me?

SDM

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