The Call

‘It started out as a feeling

Which then grew into a hope’

 

What was it that I was feeling?

What was going on in this worried mind?

Could it be?

Surely it was a feeling that I had not felt,

In quite some time,

A feeling that I had decided to let go of,

For every time those butterflies,

You know the ones,

Started fluttering in my stomach,

Percolating my soul to once again blaze,

I was always left,

Beaten,

Downtrodden by one I thought would never leave,

And they always left,

My faults too much for them to endure.

 

What is this that I am feeling,

Anew,

Outside of rational control,

No,

A different part of my being engaged,

Not a sentimental longing,

But an actual impression,

Left,

Suspended in time,

Your face,

Your beautiful face,

The perfect indication for your searching soul,

Leaving me with thoughts that I had decided,

I didn’t want,

Or need,

For my time is now,

To be the me I always known I have been,

Richly divided parts of the whole,

Saint and Sinner,

Come together,

Again,

Humbled,

Was I wrong?

 

What is this that I am feeling,

Can it be real,

True,

Are the butterflies fluttering to a new migration,

Away from a tormented past,

Toward an enlightened future,

What is going on in this troubled mind,

Where darkness once reigned,

A crack in the decidedly impenetrable fortress,

Still victim to a howling Black Dog,

Though a faint glimmer of hope,

Delivered,

By your smile.

 

What is going on?

Is this real?

Or just another dream to be revealed as nightmare,

Funny how easily,

The human spirit can seek out the divine waters,

Temptation leading to infatuation,

Infatuation leading to lust,

Lust by necessity, at least if the conditions are ripe,

(At least for this weary soul)

To a love,

Requited?

 

What is this feeling?

That for so long has been like trying to comprehend,

The meaning of an emotional Rosetta Stone,

Has hope returned?

Jubilant,

To once again remind me,

That,

In spite of my faults,

Perhaps because of them,

That it is possible,

It is beyond possible,

That hope has found its way,

Back to me,

Are you hope,

In her smile,

Your smile,

That now,

Forces my hopes,

To snub the rational,

For the passionate,

And brings to my life,

A temporary joy,

Which may lead to one with a little more staying power.

 

What is this feeling?

 

‘It started out as a feeling

Which then grew into a hope’

 

SDM

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