Pulling Hemingway

 

Pulling Hemingway

 

Ernest,

You son of a bitch,

(I wonder if people would say that of me)

How dare you,

How dare I even consider,

As I am now, endlessly,

I have thought this more than once,

I mean sure,

Old Man,

You did not need to go on,

Not for you,

But what if you had,

No fish in sight,

But definitely a fistful of Mojitos,

Not to mention a bar stool,

Havana a wasteland,

Of your own misery,

Could no one see it?

But I’m fine,

Aren’t I,

I can,

Go on, once more,

No?

The Marlin was out there,

It may still be for me,

But I do not know,

Like you,

Shuttling back and forth across the continents,

Is there no sign?

With the perspective of time,

It all seems so clear,

I now grow a beard,

With you in mind,

Though mine has but two grays,

And is far more bushy,

Couldn’t you hold on?

Or was your heart that broken,

As mine is now, once more,

Years old wounds reopened,

With feelings of betrayal to boot,

Was your mind that awash in sin?

I feel that very now Big Poppa,

Abandoned, alone and filled with fear,

Just like me it seems,

There was nothing left for you,

Living through divorce and a plane crash,

But couldn’t handle Idaho,

Nor your own depression,

What happened that morning?

When you awoke,

What demon was chasing you naked?

Was it the same as the one chasing me?

The one that screams like a banshee,

Howls like Cerberus?

Why did I chose differently?

What was and is the difference?

I am not sure anymore there will be a difference,

Not today,

Not now,

Feeling lower than I have in years,

But for me the bell has not yet tolled,

You stupid,

Incredulous,

Jealous and unforgiving bastard,

Ernest,

Well I refuse,

Finding shelter in others,

Though now seemingly dark clouds

And gathering storms,

Sorrow,

Grief,

Pain and loss,

And in these very words,

For I will not,

Pull a Hemingway…

 

No shotgun in sight!

 

But I’m fine

 

SDM

 

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