Trimester Realities in Multiple Dimensions

A few short weeks ago,

I was a third trimester fetus,

Reincarnated,

Brought on by a first trimester reality,

Clinging to the umbilical cord of life,

While letting go of the other,

To my great dismay,

And my black dog’s laughter,

A symbiotic relationship that benefited both love, and me

Now,

As the day approaches,

When sober thoughts

And new opportunities present themselves,

It is time for me to learn anew,

Everything that once I had known,

I do not know,

I did not know,

Taking nothing for granted,

I must,

Listen to the world around me,

To the Ether,

To Ernest,

Finding the auditory cues that will again lead me to speech,

I must develop new teeth,

A painful process from which my words will gain bite,

I must learn to crawl,

Wiggling this Peter Pan body all over the place,

A man child,

Until finally,

Finding balance,

I can stand and walk for only a few steps,

Those steps the beginning of a lifetime of journeys,

Love lost,

Love found,

From walking to running,

I sprint toward myself,

Intentionally,

Relentlessly,

Beautifully,

Making mistakes all along the way,

Experience,

Releasing a pain so fresh,

That my body aches just considering it,

As too does my soul,

Now,

I must learn to speak,

First through repetition and rapport,

Until finally,

I am forming my own words,

My own sentences,

My own expression of self,

Nosce Te Ipsum,

Growing up through this world,

I will learn ever new and wonderful things,

Be awed, inspired and inspiring,

And I will become what we all know I am meant to,

What I have always known,

Ernest in my ear,

What I already am,

Though,

Like child rearing,

(and believe me I was sand am o ready)

It will take time,

To heal,

Mistakes will be made,

And I will learn from them,

Experience them,

Own them,

Yet,

Through the wonder of a child’s eyes,

While imagining my Sia,

I am now looking at this world in a fresh and amazing way,

It is as if I am seeing it all again,

I am seeing it all again,

For the first time,

A trick played on my mind,

Through my action and intent

To comfort my mind,

In this period of grief,

Profound and gut wrenching,

Yet,

Though childbirth is painful,

My childbirth is a different kind of pain,

Ripe,

Rather than worrying about ten fingers or toes,

I am concerned with taking this newly born,

Innocent and empathetic mind,

Through the stages of childhood,

To reveal a man reborn,

Not a perfect man,

A better man,

Better than I was yesterday,

I and I aware of the exquisite pain of this rebirth,

I am to become,

The man of my dreams,

And one day,

Someone will see me,

For who and what I truly am…

Loving me without hesitation,

But until then,

Childbirth can be painful!

SDM

 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s