R O A R – Sia Didn’t Stay

“I was not the lion, but it fell to me to give the lion’s roar.”

Winston Churchill

 

It fell to me,

As you ran,

From yourself,

From who you want to be,

It fell,

To me… Yet…

 

Too timid,

Too confused,

Too immersed in misunderstood cultural actualities,

Too fooled by an naughty smile,

Filled with insecurity

(still evident and handcuffing)

I know it’s hard to believe,

For years of my life,

I fooled you all,

Submissive to designs,

Of those who did not have my best interests in mind,

Avarice and deadly sins like fallen skeletons,

Wounding me,

Those that learned love was my Achilles heel,

Is my Achilles heel,

And like Sisyphus I feel

This weakness is rock but also

My amour, armor pierced,

Genuine to myself,

Nosce Te Ipsum,

Who and what I am,

Yet still

Left reeling,

Panging,

Longing,

Desiring,

My everything,

Wandering our proverbial jungle,

Concrete, wilderness and my mistaken impressions,

In efforts to understand,

Who am I?

What am I?

I and I and I left standing again,

Holding an empty bag,

Where once my love was known,

An unborn child lighting my way,

My Sia,

To the life I wanted,

The life I need,

And in an instant gone,

Torn from my happiness,

And I fell.

 

More like alley cat than lion,

Battered and bruised after one too many brawls,

Until my life changed, destined,

First a nervous break down,

My purr not yet a growl,

Wounds licked,

My tongue satiating a troubled mind,

As with loves ripe cancellation,

My growls not yet roar,

Though the seed was thrown,

Aborted,

Poor Sia…

Tossed aside,

As readily as a half eaten plate of food,

Worse still,

You must reap what you sow,

Therefore I had to submit to pain,

Sullen,

Fallen,

My Black Dog screaming…

Priority one,

Revive this beautiful soul,

Radiant spirit,

Release myself,

Held captive by endless lies,

Heart wrenching,

After months of sublime bliss.

 

Admitting defeat,

Of my spiritual energy,

My mental plague,

Excelling beyond the blind leading the blind,

My eyes opened by continual struggle,

Between perceptions of good and evil,

Love and hate,

Right and wrong,

I dare you to deception again,

Forewarning you,

That while I have been,

Fooled since birth,

Fooled by you,

Shame on me for believing,

Told of only two polarities,

Black and white,

Account for all,

Rather than the truth,

Shades of grey,

Cultural difference

And outsiders interference,

Inference, conjecture and aspersions,

I and I and I,

Gaining strength,

Gaining insight,

I and I and I,

Gathering the will to journey on,

Allowing my face to become a beacon,

A signal to the world,

To you,

My mane is growing again,

My growl becoming roar,

Here I come,

One word,

One sentence,

One stanza at a time,

(Though even the Lion needs pride)

Platitudes left behind,

As you thought I’d stay in this repressive mental state,

Following the trail of deceit,

Taking the bait,

Self induced, professed and confessed,

Caught inside the scope of a trophy hunters rifle,

Yet the hunter visionless,

Saw only the immediate in front of them,

No foresight.

Roar,

Now firmly entrenched in my literary persona,

Warrior Poet,

King of,

Not just the proverbial jungle,

But also the one,

That leads me to you,

Whoever you are,

For now,

Poets united,

Wrestling with the intangible,

With love, fate, hurt and the Ether,

Over optic cables,

In the distance,

I hear you all,

And beseech you,

To do the same…

 

R

O

A

R

!

 

Rise from the shackles of experience,

Be more,

Better,

Rise,

Slough off mistakes,

With wisdom gleaned,

Rise,

Know that tomorrow is another day,

Stand proud,

Shattered yet intact and recognize,

These words are salvation,

While cold comfort to the romantic ideals we strive,

These words,

Like a lion’s roar,

Keep us alive…

R

O
A

R

!

 

SDM

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