Humbled (And Smitten)

Finally,

After all this time,

All this loss,

Peril, now seemingly, for the moment,

The wind in my sails,

Behind me,

Pushing me forward,

Coming into my own,

Finding again that infectious laugh,

And all I had to do – was give in,

Which is not remotely the same as giving up…

 

By giving in I discovered,

That the parts of me that are broken,

I and I and I,

Are merely callings to reassemble?

 

I and I and I…

 

The jigsaw of my reality,

For a quarter century or more,

Giving in,

I found,

Who my real friends are,

Cherished,

The ones that stood by me,

And continue to stand by me,

When I am down,

Feeding me with endless nourishment,

Of wisdom, enthusiasm, a gentle caress,

Of your many spirits,

Dancing like a kite,

Free to fly,

To explore,

Roaming together in the uncertainty,

For life has no instruction manual,

And arriving,

At what was always there,

Just deep inside…

 

Hiding behind shadows lurking,

Longing for a home to call my own,

Not the building,

But a true home, internal,

Safe,

Free from the outside world,

From my own skeletons,

Demons and Black Dog…

 

Finally,

Letting go,

Surrendering,

I have discovered,

That the parts of I and I and I,

Those for so long been counted as unconquerable,

Were merely signposts on the journey of life?

The I that desires to serve,

The I that desires to love,

The I that desires to be loved,

For I and I and I,

Find my totality there…

 

And this life is a journey,

Each day a new step towards the new,

N E X T,

Beauty at every step,

Even in the greatest darkness,

That at one time either too blind or too ignorant,

I could not or would not,

Engage,

NO more,

Not here, nor now…

 

Today I stand up,

I will be heard,

I will be counted,

I will seek and find without looking for it,

My greatest treasure,

I will celebrate the totality of who I am,

And in so doing,

Gain insight into what it means to truly live,

And my friends,

My real friends,

Stand by my side,

At the ready,

To, if necessary, again,

Pick me up,

Deliver me the tools for my own reassembling,

And I am humbled by it,

For as tears of joy,

Stream down my face,

Calling out to the Ether,

I know, that I am close,

And I can feel,

These emotions raw,

The immersion of the new,

Tempered by the wisdom of holding fast and true,

Waiting,

That I may use them,

To propel me forward,

To the place we all know I should be,

Humbled,

Grateful,

And aware,

I celebrate each of you,

You know who you are,

For causing me to realize,

That my passage had to include this moment,

All of them,

Desperate,

To reignite that passion that burns so brightly inside of me,

One that now awakens like a sleeping giant,

Though still contained, for the moment on B612…

 

My only hope,

Is that I too,

May repay your generosity of spirit,

By being who I am,

And returning to you,

The same generosity,

When you are at your lowest – or whenever you require,

Help you discover that you are a diamond in the rough,

Not a rough diamond,

An innate beauty that glimmers within you,

Your eyes shining,

Your smile gleaming,

Your soul teaming with the life you desire,

I hope,

I can help you see,

What so many have helped me to see.

 

I stand before you anew,

Understanding how far I’ve come,

And how far I still must go,

But I draw strength from you,

The royal you,

Demonstrated here,

With humble thanks,

These words are all I can give,

And all my heart, mind, body and soul,

For all of you have given me permission,

To soar,

And again I will thrive.

 

SDM

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s