Monthly Archives: May 2016

A Woefully Inadequate Letter to My Unborn Child


First and foremost, you need to know, YOU, in all your majesty and wonder were born of a rarified love.


Your Mother is a unique gem in the universe and you should thank your lucky stars every day that she gave birth to you. Through, with and by her you have won the lottery of birth and I genuinely hope that you appreciate that fact every day.


Your Sister is the embodiment of all that is great about your Mother. She is kind, caring, considerate, intelligent, hard working and beautiful. Someday you will realize the truth of these words.


Your Father, ME, pops, papa, dada whatever you want to call me. I am an opened can of worms who through your grace seeks to be a better man every day. You do indeed make me a better man and I strive to live up to that all important title; Father.

Your family spans the earth and you will meet them all in due course.

That being said there are a few things as we approach the day of your birth I want to let you know that I will demonstrate for you everyday in every possible way. So without further adieu, here we go;


Love is the most important thing in the world. The unbridled love and bond between family is indeed thicker than water and you should always remember that love is ALWAYS the answer and is ALL you need.


You are being brought into a world in turmoil. This fact will present itself to you in any number of ways on an omnipresent basis. There are countless though not insurmountable problems that face our planet those in turn mean that you must face. There are wars, droughts, famines, fires, sycophants and psychopaths and every scary thing that you are not yet able to imagine.

YET, and I mean this in every possible way; despite and in spite of the challenges that our species face you are being brought into a world of wonder and delight. With every sense you will feel the truth of this sentiment. You have a heart that pumps blood, a built in waste management system, lungs that process oxygen; capacities that so few people consider although you MUST.


For in these overlooked capacities lay the wonder of life. You have the ability to breathe, see, smell, touch, taste and hear and these are monumentally fantastic sensations. You have been given the blessed ability to think and oh how do I believe you will think (not like your crazy father but hopefully a little). Let’s hope you get your mothers brains and my looks.


As great as senses are you have been given the most powerful gift and weapon between those beautiful ears of yours, a brain, in which resides an invisible yet indomitably obvious treasure, a MIND. With this invisible promise of endless possibilities lay your ability to imagine, dream and explore every corner of thought. With this mystically beautiful tool you will fathom the understood and the misunderstood and you MUST NEVER allow someone to make your mind up for you. Entertain all thoughts. Entertain your mind and make it an endless revolution from which springs forth the ultimate blessing that you are. There is no greater entertainment, NONE, greater than that fantastically powerful tool, your mind. USE IT! Beat it, cajole it, caress it, ENTERTAIN IT. You’ll love me one day for these words.


You were conceived of love and your mission in this world is to repay that love with kindness, compassion, honesty, integrity, loyalty and service toward the betterment of our species.


There is no such thing as a bad thought, only bad actions. You will have bad thoughts just don’t act on them.


Do not kill although for me there are caveats to this.

Do not steal although there are caveats such as hunger.

Try not to lie.

Do not hurt people as much as possible.


The rest is up for grabs, truly.

HOWEVER you and YOU alone are the master of your destiny. You are not alone and never will be, WE will always be here for you, in good, bad and neutral BUT you must make your own choices and as much as possible choose wisely. If you don’t know ASK it is the greatest tool you have, the ability to say; I don’t know.


FACE in the context of the society in which you are being born is BULLSHIT. Respect is not. Honour your elders and your life.


YOU have been imbued with intelligence and intellect, emotional capacity, grace and beauty. It is YOUR duty to your family and YOURSELF to be the best version of you that you can be. It will not be EASY. It will not always be fun. But that, first and foremost is your duty. You have choices, you ALWAYS have choices, even when it seems dim and impossible, there is always a choice and they are yours to make. We can guide you toward the light but not necessarily keep you from the dark. We will make every effort as a family to support you, imbue in you the necessary skills for survival in a harsh world but the ultimate choice is yours, only yours.


Life does not come with an instruction manual AND even if it did I would not give it to you. Not out of malice but out of a genuine and incomparable love that you will only understand when you have a child of your own.


Sometimes it’s a bad day and you need to say FUCK IT.


Human beings, your mother, sister and I are not and NEVER will be perfect.


We are however perfectly imperfect or imperfectly perfect.


I am going to mess up more times than I care to admit in your life and indeed my own as my life has already shown me.


We all make mistakes, ALL of us make mistakes. The key to those mistakes is to learn from them. As you will soon be able to recognize I have a mathematical equation on my right arm the same colour as my eyes… e=mc2 .


I put it there because of it’s relevance to the power of thought and Einstein, the genius who created this equation said; “”Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” My beautiful child you will make mistakes, grand mistakes, enormous and sometimes life changing mistakes. Learn from them, internalize, analyze, explore and understand those mistakes –we only GROW, spiritually, mentally and consequentially through the mistakes we make. ALTHOUGH do not allow your mistakes to haunt you, control you or dismay you. Someday I will tell you the monumental mistakes I made that led me to your truly awe inspiring creation and you will see all mistakes are guideposts on the road of life AND more often than not you should take the road less travelled.


Try EVERYTHING once with only one caveat; if it hurts another human being I cannot command you not to do it but I can beseech you not to.


DON’T be an asshole, EVER. Even to jerks, miscreants, neurotics and narcissists. It is so much better to kill people with kindness, goodness, generosity of wealth and spirit.


Try food, experiences, do things that frighten you and make you uncomfortable. Be scared but not afraid. Be bold but not stupid. Collect memories not things although this very sick civilization you are being brought into will attempt to make you do the opposite. GO AGAINST THE GRAIN.


Stand out, you were born to be nothing less than FABULOUS and you are indeed just that. Live up to that truth. While it will be amazingly difficult to live up to that you need to recognize that you are not a clone, you are not a lemming, you are a unique and resplendent individual. Just because everyone else is doing it does not mean that you should. STAND up and be COUNTED. Make waves and if necessary tsunamis. Do no remain silent when injustice is being committed no matter the personal cost. Remain vigilant to the virtues that brought you into this world and the world and YOU will be better for it.

Play in the dirt. Ask questions like why is the sky blue! Ask all questions because there are no stupid questions only stupid answers. Love animals. Hug trees. Climb Trees. Stop to smell flowers. Acknowledge people on the street. Play good natured tricks on people. Know that there is no limit to what you can do, not the stars, not the laws of gravity, not your mother nor I, society, science, people; NONE; your only, ONLY, ONLY, limitation in the vastness of this universe is your own imagination. You can and will be ANYTHING you want, ANYTHING; so choose wisely. For the choice is yours. BE GREAT, that’s why you were born to BE GREAT. Though, remember fucking up can be a choice and sometimes it is the best choice.


Say YES but also know when to say NO. Sometimes you won’t know just remember this as a guideline, fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me.
Life is NOT easy NOR should it be. All the best things in life are hard, require work, effort and passion. DON’T give up, DON’T give in, DON’T compromise your values and principles unless through personal growth you realize YOU were wrong. Move powerfully passed the temptation to live or revel in the past.

People are motivated by their own interests and instincts but are easily manipulated by forces that are both easy and difficult to explain. When you are older I will seek to address these truths with you.


People are as varied as there are colours you can see, sounds you can hear, smells you can smell, tastes you can taste and feelings you can feel. Seek out and keep near you GOOD PEOPLE. They are easy to know but not find. See through the blustery lens of other peoples opinions and look for the genuine goodness in peoples hearts. Jai Di!


Not their words, for words in the minds of the uninitiated are poor markers due to the fact that every one can use them but not understand them. Observe and pay attention to actions – for those ACTIONS are the true diamond in the rough of our existence.


Do not engage in petty gossip or conversation. I don’t mean small talk, rather like Eleanor Roosevelt said; “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.”


NEVER let truth hurt you. The truth, THE truth is subjective not objective. FACTS, genuine facts, are objective while the truth is not. The truth is an ugly manifestation of an agenda that is rarely if ever readily apparent let alone centuries on. However, if the truth is starring you in the face, stare back and critically explore it. You are the master of your own personal truth and it will be a tricky, slippery and difficult slope – Don’t lie to yourself.


Do not hate people. Hate ideas. Frederick Douglass once said; “Let no man pull you so low as to hate him.” Hate is a basest non thinking response to ignorance. Do not be ignorant. Be informed. There is a great line that has stuck with me since I first heard it; “We salute the rank, not the man.” There is inherent goodness in everyone. Find that, celebrate it, honour it and believe me this will be difficult at times.


LIFE is not FAIR. It never has been and it never will be. Do not expect it to be. In fact do not expect as that is the root cause of disappointment. You will be challenged, aggrieved, lose and be cheated. Prepare yourself for this and know that no matter what you think, believe or know there will always be those that get ahead, do better, go further, faster, stronger due to circumstances beyond both their and your control. Life is not FAIR and this reality will be ever present in your life. YOU however can be fair, directed by principle and goodness – DO THIS and life will be as fair for you as is universally and according to KARMA possible. Remember KARMA is both a positive and negative force and it always comes back like a boomerang.


The television and indeed now the Internet have become bastions where truly the medium have become the message. The television is a one way medium, purpose built and designed to stupefy, to convince you to consume and to keep you from doing genuinely great things. Do not fall prey to this evil manipulative tool. The internet has such great promise, it is the great equalizer for all human knowledge. It is the reestablishment of the Library at Alexandria. HOWEVER, if you use it for cat memes and watching youtube videos of girls twerking you have been caught in the message of the medium. This is intentional, it is pervasive and it is evil. This is not to say that there is not enjoyment in these things BUT you must ensure that you do not allow as so many have to let these mediums hold dominion over you. Oscar Wilde stated that; “everything in moderation except moderation.” The internet and even the television have the power to educate, inspire and uplift and even to entertain, look for the first three and I promise you you will be entertained. DO GREAT THINGS. Be active not passive. Dance, Sing, Write, Create, Innovate – USE YOUR POWER.


KNOWLEDGE is power. In fact it is the only real power. People of ill intent will tell you money, gold or some other possession are power. They are not. Your intellect and the knowledge from which it stems are the ONLY REAL powers there are in this world. With KNOWLEDGE you can do anything you desire. YOU have the power WITHIN your mind. USE IT.


MONEY IS NOT REAL. It is a creation. Another evil manipulative tool used by powers so insidious and evil it will take decades for me to explain them to you. MONEY is a tool, a colourful piece of paper that by common delusion has taken on grandiose meanings in this world. Just like all human creations it can be undone by human actions and should be in your lifetime, perhaps your children. Do NOT, DO not, DO NOT pursue money – pursue passion and wealth beyond your wildest dreams will materialize not through magic but instead through hard work and dedication.


All present institutions that control our civilization are at their core EVIL. EVIL in that most, though not all, do not live up to the promise of their founding. The very notion that a corporation has the same rights as you but NONE of the responsibilities is morally and spiritually repugnant. Each of these insinuations praises their role but NONE, not one, appreciates that they are involved in an open slaughter of all species and a planet through a continued deleterious and usurious misreading of the man that codified the system. Collectivization of wealth will be the ultimate downfall and further – Earth is finite thus growth is finite which means the system although doing what it is deigned to do MUST fail. A house of cards, or one built on sand must inevitably fail.

I will openly admit to you here, I am not religious, nor is your Mother. Your sister believes in the Christian God due to a relationship with object permanence I can’t get into now. It is not my job to tell you what to believe but instead to introduce you to knowledge so that you can draw your own understanding. I have made no attempt to dissuade your sister nor will I or you.


My belief is based on what are currently believed to be the only objective truths; mathematics and science. I firmly believe that we are not alone in the universe and while religions will tell you that this is the proof of God I believe that the monotheists have been demonstrated wrong on countless levels. I can not due to my intellect say to you unequivocally that there is no God however I can tell you that it is statistically unlikely. Just as it is improbable we are alone in this vast, harsh and beautiful universe. I can point to any number of reasons that I object to the notion that we need a God or even why theists believe God to be great. For if we are in fact created in this Gods image – this god is vile, malevolent and wicked. All things we can explore as you grow – not to dissuade you but instead to show you another point of view.


You don’t require a god or a book to be your moral compass and if you do you should dig deep within and explore why you do. What need is being filled? What passion is being ignited? What question is truly being answered?

QUESTION EVERYTHING. EVERYTHING. If an idea, thought or person cannot be questioned it is not worthy.


Remember good people show up. You will not have one hundred friends and you should consider yourself lucky if you have two.


This is woefully inadequate as a letter to you. I am woefully inadequate as a father but will do my best to ensure that no harm will come to you. I assure you that hell would be preferable to my wrath if someone were to hurt you, your sister or Mother. Your Uncles will also assure you of this fact in evidence. WE will be there for you in good times and bad. We will be there to pick you up and indeed pull you down at times. We will be there to scold you and praise you. WE WILL BE THERE.

I love you. WE love you. From the moment of your conception you were bathed in love. You will always be bathed in love and at times it will seem like that is not true. Believe me TOUGH LOVE is still love.

Woefully inadequate though this initial letter is, it is me, warts and all and I CAN’T WAIT TO MEET YOU face to face.

From all of me, with love, humbleness and honour,

Your (anxious, excited and nervous) FATHER,


A.K.A. Sender D. MacLean







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