Tag Archives: Fate

Fate’s Slight of Hand?


Slight of hand?

I think not,

For love has made me daring,

Persistent and true.

 

While arming to the teeth the rambunctious modality of fate,

Tears,

Fallen from the heavens of your own aspiration,

Of experience as teacher,

For surely this love you need know,

And you do, don’t you?

A reward for a life lived on terms indivisible, from which you are,

My Hmong Key,

At some point, despite your cat calls to the opposite,

Tears will continue to fall,

Rain drops the size of flattery,

Smiles the size of a child’s laughter,

Brown eyes brighter than the big bang,

And woman,

You,

Hmong Key,

Tears free from inhibition,

Free from the same rules that you deride,

Finding the strength with in,

Knowing what you do not want to be without,

Washing away the iniquity of man (men) and time,

If only for a moment,

Crying out for Hmong Key to follow your own path,

And you do, don’t you, my Key?

You are!

You will!

A path you started walking with your first breath,

When you began to crawl, to walk and to run,

Forging a path that is not for the faint of heart,

Weak of mind or menaced by the soul,

In your rabid individualism you keep others at bay,

While at the same time pulling them in,

Ever closer,

With a swipe of your hand across the sky,

For in this world, at this time,

You are creator and created,

A new horizon realized by you,

For you,

At the zenith of your projection,

Can you feel it?

Will you?

Witness to your own grandeur,

I watch from the sidelines,

Having been placed there by you,

For the now,

Leaving me in a stubborn state,

For I only know how to love completely,

Fully and without equivocation,

Nothing I would not do,

Where I am always

Longing to touch in you,

That which you have touched in me,

Awakened this Warrior Poet,

To new realities

And a brighter future,

Ours,

Treasured Muse,

Of more import to my life than all the works of art,

Contained in all the museum palaces of the world,

Your grace the very air I breathe,

I crave you,

I desire you,

I need you,

I live for you,

Loving you with

Every beat of my heart,

And only sustenance is when our lips meet anew,

Each time,

As you grant me new life,

New hope,

New love,

Watching as I have,

As I will,

As I do,

The earth reaching up to touch you,

The heavens reaching down to restore

Your virtuous grace

Such that it may know your immensity as I do,

But I ask Hmong Key,

Why,

Why do you continue to run?

Though the question,

Rhetorical,

For I believe I understand.

 

As Muse,

As mine,

You cannot deny the will of the gods,

Nor run from your fate…

 

A happy home!

 

Our palace?
Built on the pure foundation,

Of a love so rare,

It defies all logic or reason,

Delivered,

As blessed and beloved gift,

From the Ether,

The universe has a plan for us,

Divine.

Until the end of time…

What do you say,

Perchance a dream,

Together,

Realized?

 

SDM

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Continuum of I

escher stars

Now left to consider,

A future bare,

My mind a shell fragment,

That currently winds its way,

Most painfully,

Through every part of my being,

Like an Escher of an Escher of an Escher,

A life once realized,

Once promised;

 

Is the failure of everything?

At least for I and I and I…

 

If there were justice,

No man or woman would have to surrender these feelings,

The unrequited and unrelenting tumult,

That rips through the very texture of space and time,

As the realm of the possible,

Has become a bleak future,

An emotional capitulation that surely will force me,

To the brink of the universe,

In an act of conditional surrender,

To momentary truth,

I am standing proud,

Not of all I’ve done,

But certainly of my conduct at present,

As I try to make it easier for you,

Knowing that I owe you,

My strength right now,

So reliant on you,

I wonder how,

When I have searched the seven seas,

Travelled billions of miles to find you,

Now seeming poised to spread your wings and fly away,

From our love banquet,

That now seems like a bestial abandonment,

Loosing the only person that has kept me alive,

Of course there is always the future,

And the reconciliation of love lost,

Though that knowledge,

Cold comfort,

As my manifest destiny,

Is revealed to be,

A lifetime of pain.

 

Your freedom assured,

At least in the physical world,

Your emotional survival too,

Assured,

As this is of your design,

Of your making,

And,

As I always have,

I stand with you,

Despite the difficulty in doing so –

 

Making decisions,

Life affecting and altering decisions,

Forcing me to the edge of reason,

Where my demons preside,

As they have for twenty years,

Old wounds again become new,

Teetering on the razor thin line of my convictions,

Compromised,

For the greater good,

For your greater good,

Seemingly for us;

 

Dangerous considerations,

When I gave up the very treasure I long for most in this world,

Now deserted by choice,

With festering deliberations,

That linger,

Filtering through every part of me,

Wounded pride will heal,

Though this apparent demise,

Was not just the absconding of words held only to myself,

All these years,

It was I and I and I’s doppelganger,

The gang inside my head,

As the vicious screams begin anew…

 

Perhaps,

Someday,

The pain and sacrifice will make sense,

Revealing some uncharted fate,

Yet unfulfilled,

Necessitating,

Love will return,

Though for me,

It will never go away.

 

SDM

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The Bittersweet

The bittersweet,
Less chocolate,
More, irony,
As with the ascent of emotions true,
So too rises the wave of my Black Dog’s howl,
Like a wolves cry on a full moon night,
Calling out something unknown,
All the while feeling the awkward presence,
Of something as yet understood,
Bittersweet,
The air is thick with the sweat of high stakes poker,
Though there is no tell that can reveal,
What we both know,
We both feel,
We both show our hands,
Though close to our chest they be,
Calling out to each other,
Known,
As I have called so many times to the Ether,
Argued with Hemingway and Picasso,
Flirted with the danger of Zelda,
As I reconsider who and what I am,
On a light cast,
Lingering,
Like the memory of your luminous smile,
Tongue in cheek,
Keeping me going through the days,
Past, present and future,
As a new era nears,
With the passing of time,
That I can finally unleash the hound,
Let loose the ills that have plagued me,
Plunging intensely into wave after wave of your hugs,
Relieving myself of the delicious torment,
That has haunted me all my life,
Strife,
Abandonment,
Loss,
Struggle,
Battle after battle,
Inner destruction,
Outer costumes, one after another,
To hide the true nature of my character,
Hoping that none could see,
But they do,
You do,
As now I press further,
No longer filled with a wanderlust,
But instead satisfied,
With initial surrender,
Complete,
For you,
For me,
For us,
As I believe I know where this yellow brick road goes,
And I will follow,
If you will lead,
I will lead if you need follow,
For in your gaze,
I find,
Myself revealed to myself,
I and I and I wondering if perhaps, this time,
It may be… different,
Here and now,
Instead of there and then,
No longer trapped by the shadow cast,
By a past I can not change,
That I must embrace, face and comprehend,
If I am to arrive at destination me,
With journey you,
Will you journey with me,
Hand in hand,
To another place,
That only we shall know,
Together at last,
Let’s us walk slowly,
Purposefully, with grace and delight,
Marching toward an endless night,
Howling like new lovers,
At our moon,
Swimming in our sea,
Tranquility,
As the ladies of night,
Destiny, Fate and Serendipity cry tears of joy,
As they only do,
With love found,
Like this love, perhaps
Between girl and boy?

Like it’s the first day of my life…

SDM

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Judgement

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLF_WNF3qp4

Detained by my own self loathing,

I could not see past the mask that I had assembled,

Equal measure,

Comedy and tragedy,

The story of my life played out on multiple stages,

And in multiple dimensions,

Partially as defense mechanism,

Partially as undeniable stupidity,

For this open book that is my life,

Need not be censored,

Need not be less than what it is,

For you who stand in judgment of me,

Should, as Bob Marley says;

“Judge not, before you judge yourself,”

Acutely aware of my many faults,

Including things that you may not view as blunder,

I stand ready to embrace them,

And if you can not,

Then I must say unto you,

On your merry way,

Trot out of my life,

Like an unbridled and wild horse,

For you will never understand me,

You can never know me,

I am built on Shakespeare’s fatal flaws,

Shakespeare’s fatal flaws a guide map to the stage direction I call life,

And where you see weakness,

I find an ocean of strength,

I find a determined will,

To live,

To be,

To become,

I find virtue (and a little vice),

That now brings me to this,

A manifesto of my own accord,

A new manifesto,

A new life,

My design,

As intrigued by destiny and fate,

As determined by hard work,

Book ended by two parts of myself,

Doppelganger,

Sweet and innocent me (sweet yes, innocent, Judge not)

And then,

The darker,

More Mr. Hyde part of myself,

The voices of my past and present,

And the literary giants of infamy,

Hemingway; “Write drunk, edit sober” Key word; “Drink!”

Calling me to action,

Beyond my fatal flaws,

In spite of them,

Revealing all of me,

Evermore,

Without censor,

Without fear,

Without worry,

For I am,

Sender,

and I am,

Love,

Faulty and flawless,

For me,

For you,

For us!

SDM

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The Very Nearness of You!

The very nearness of you,

Knowledge of you,

That you are not a distant dream,

But instead a reality pulled,

Defies the gravitational force of light,

Love,

Slapping Newton squarely in the jaw,

Escaping  the undeniable,

Avoiding the inevitable,

As the black hole of a certain past,

Gives way to the dark matter,

Of our illuminated path,

And new each day as we discover,

The reasons we have to love each other,

Feelings, emotions and treasured desires,

Logic choking my lungs,

Asphyxiating all the reasons against,

Fueling all the reasons for,

For there is no reason,

Is there?

 

Save that there is…

 

More than one…

 

For this life is not a game,

Or a rehearsal,

It is lived,

In a series of moments,

Where fate, chance, destiny and serendipity open doors,

Where they do not exist and we must choose,

CHOOSE,

Whether we realize the falseness of the opening,

Is the very proof that they exist…

 

Open this door,

Walk through it,

Open me,

Crazy as it seems,

Crazy as it is,

Crazy as I am,

Walk through it,

Walk to me,

Walk with me,

As your eyes and smile already have,

Each time we coyly meet inside a secret garden,

To which only we have access,

For the now,

And when we can together expose,

What the world already knows,

Inside these words,

To see with their eyes,

L O V E,

Will manifest,

In ever new and wondrous ways;

For you,

For me,

For us,

Exposed,

Naked and restless,

Listless and wanting of nothing,

Save another moment with you.

 

For every moment that passes,

That you are not with me,

Is like a lifetime lived without the very essence of truth,

Your spirit,

Kissing mine,

Embracing the darkness that is so rich,

Claiming false the necessity of my brooding ways,

Hearing too the realities of my barking bitch,

This Black Dog,

Proving it,

With a tenderness that reveals all I could be,

(all I am)

If I just got out of my own way,

Allowing you to break the well crafted walls I have erected,

Protected,

From the anguish of ripe cancellation,

Save but three times,

Fearing the worst both in myself,

And the abandonment that follows,

Knowing the pain of separation as only I can,

For I have been separated,

I and I and I,

Now uncovering layers like an onion,

Forcing me to cry,

Not tears of sorrow,

Instead of joy.

 

For tomorrow I will see you,

Surreptitiously,

As this world wonders,

Why I beam

And you glow,

All the while we,

And we alone know,

The answer to the question we’ve both asked since our youth,

Swinging from the branches of the tree of life,

Ending years of strife,

Beginning anew,

Beginning with you,

Knowing it’s true, I can’t fight,

This way,

We feel inside,

I am yours

And you,

You are mine,

Adored,

Ever more,

Agape love.

SDM

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Dare I Ask, Why?

Dare I ask why?
Why must I denounce my souls desire?
Why should anyone be so foolhardy as to deny what is obvious?
When inside this man of life,
Lived full tilt and curious, seeking and searching,
Experience dictates that I must rise up,
In the face of emotional bondage,
Declare just and rightful,
That the tyranny of repression,
Is just a vile and contemptible,
As denying oneself a life beyond measure,
For what is life without someone to share it with,
No life at all,
No, each day we must consume,
Like fresh fruit,
Picked not from the bottom,
Not where it is easy,
Nay,
For that fruit is a little less ripe,
A little less sweet,
Do I dare to rise above the fray?
To pick my fruit,
From where the light has trickled down,
From one hundred million miles away,
Sublimely,
Each day filling this tragic planet with the breathe of life,
Tragic in our miserable repressions,
Instead, we should dance,
Dance with the tiny kisses from light years away,
Answering the universes calling card,
That most nourish the intent of our soul,
That most nourish together passions on fire,
For surely this is the intent of emotional designs,
The misunderstood something that propels us,
Into the arms of another,
This begs the life that we all aspire,
Dare I ask why?
That it be considered sane to deny oneself,
To stand in the way of the muses call,
The luxury of shared experience,
The powers of two souls come together,
That only together,
Can feel the divine,
Can create the divine,
Yes I rise up,
And I declare,
That the tyranny of repression,
Is a scourge upon destiny and fate,
Is the enemy of lovers the world around,
And as Plato an unjust law,
I will not settle for less than I require,
For the universe,
And serendipity,
Can so collide,
Majestically,
So that you are dumbfounded,
Captured,
If fortune favours it be so,
Once, or twice, perhaps more,
In a big bang,
Repeated around this lonely earth,
Each of us,
Hungry for feelings,
Desirous of a life lived with another,
Desirous of understanding our deepest recesses,
Those parts that no science can explain,
Those parts that make our life worth living at all,
So no,
I dare not,
Stand in contempt of destiny and fate,
Cruel mistresses that have fingers dangled,
Where we choose not where our fruit is found,
But demands,
That when it is,
We reach to the highest point of spiritual understanding,
Discovering in one, whether close or far,
That we may alight,
Passion where there is no reason,
Love where there once was none,
Blessed to know,
From little kisses from the sun,
The fruit of our desires,
Stand up,
Rise,
With me,
To celebrate the mystery of mystery,
Love,
Divine.

SDM

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Cosmic Kisses

I know not,
From whence you came,
I dare not tempt my Mistresses Destiny and Fate,
Nor push Lady Serendipity away,
Her touch so deep,
That I am left in awe,
Always finding that she knows me all too well,
As my suspicions rise,
And alarm bells ring,
Like those of slot machines,
Signaling the jackpot of your arrival,
How or why,
Seemingly less important,
Than the here and now,
For with a cosmic kiss,
And souls intent,
You have invaded my intention,
Invited, believing in more than just an idea,
As together we have molded, like clay,
Shaping our mutual needs,
Inflaming our repressed zeal,
Realizations of passion sublime,
Foundations currently being built on rock,
Where before now, seemingly, sand,
Though here you are,
Trickling down from a mental aspiration,
Into a sincere touch that permeates my every thought,
Pondering you,
Far off and away,
Knowing that we are one day closer,
One day closer,
To elevating each other’s supreme desires,
Captured in a notional surrender,
Symbolic,
In each others arms,
As so far have been our eyes,
Knowing that the extension of what we’ve discovered,
Is as important as the discovery of the atom,
Or other galaxies,
For certainly,
In that blissful instance,
At that exact time,
Fathoming a presumed lifetime,
Possible,
As we’ve undressed each other a million times over,
Mentally and spiritual,
Knowing in that instant,
Perceived,
The cosmic kisses of our current reality,
Will become two lips, yours and mine,
Quivering,
In full appreciation of the fact that the best is yet to come,
Starting anew,
With you,
Cosmic kisses made true,
With you,
One day closer!
 
SDM
 

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