Tag Archives: journey

The Bittersweet

The bittersweet,
Less chocolate,
More, irony,
As with the ascent of emotions true,
So too rises the wave of my Black Dog’s howl,
Like a wolves cry on a full moon night,
Calling out something unknown,
All the while feeling the awkward presence,
Of something as yet understood,
The air is thick with the sweat of high stakes poker,
Though there is no tell that can reveal,
What we both know,
We both feel,
We both show our hands,
Though close to our chest they be,
Calling out to each other,
As I have called so many times to the Ether,
Argued with Hemingway and Picasso,
Flirted with the danger of Zelda,
As I reconsider who and what I am,
On a light cast,
Like the memory of your luminous smile,
Tongue in cheek,
Keeping me going through the days,
Past, present and future,
As a new era nears,
With the passing of time,
That I can finally unleash the hound,
Let loose the ills that have plagued me,
Plunging intensely into wave after wave of your hugs,
Relieving myself of the delicious torment,
That has haunted me all my life,
Battle after battle,
Inner destruction,
Outer costumes, one after another,
To hide the true nature of my character,
Hoping that none could see,
But they do,
You do,
As now I press further,
No longer filled with a wanderlust,
But instead satisfied,
With initial surrender,
For you,
For me,
For us,
As I believe I know where this yellow brick road goes,
And I will follow,
If you will lead,
I will lead if you need follow,
For in your gaze,
I find,
Myself revealed to myself,
I and I and I wondering if perhaps, this time,
It may be… different,
Here and now,
Instead of there and then,
No longer trapped by the shadow cast,
By a past I can not change,
That I must embrace, face and comprehend,
If I am to arrive at destination me,
With journey you,
Will you journey with me,
Hand in hand,
To another place,
That only we shall know,
Together at last,
Let’s us walk slowly,
Purposefully, with grace and delight,
Marching toward an endless night,
Howling like new lovers,
At our moon,
Swimming in our sea,
As the ladies of night,
Destiny, Fate and Serendipity cry tears of joy,
As they only do,
With love found,
Like this love, perhaps
Between girl and boy?

Like it’s the first day of my life…



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Nothing More

In spite of the challenges,

Both real and imagined;

Bipolar realities of immense consequences,

The hope  is temporarily muddled,
Somehow, the Ether allows me the trespass,
Of these words,
Those become my mental temptress,
Outwardly manifested for you,
While inwardly struggling,
Some of sorrow,
Others of joy,
Some of delight,
While others still of pain,
Nothing more nor less,
This truth presented,
Without pretense,
At the very least none intended,
For you to see,
Can you feel this subjugation I encounter daily?

Worshipping at the syllables that make these words;

Bowing down to the thoughts,
Those force my sublimation,
Still finding the will to fight,
To carry on,
To continue this journey of greatness intended;

In spite,

Of those challenges;

For I know no other way,
I know no other means,
Fighting for my survival,
Hoping that someone out there,
Can feel this pain and find meaning in their own,
Perhaps to paint,
Make pottery,
Take a picture,
Or write words just like these;

Moreover, for those that will cast aspersions at me,

Know this,
Fully and without equivocation,
Due to you,


I will move on,
As will you,
I will press on,
As will you,
I will reemerge victorious,
All the while searching,
For a better me,
And you a better you,
Or perhaps you will still live in fear,
However, I will find,
The one I am,
All the while knowing,
That no matter my flaws,


Comedy and tragedy,
(the same be true for you)
That out there somewhere,
Toiling in the Ether,
Is a woman,
Who with nothing more than a smile,
Can free me,
Liberate me,
From this burden,
And maybe,
Just maybe,
I believe deep down,
That she may hold the key,
Mon Cle,
Mon Key,
To finally accepting,
As what I am,
A writer,
A teacher,
A lover,
A husband,
A father,
And a truly dedicated liver of life;

And nothing more.

Or perhaps much, much more!


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Mistress Fate

Mistress Fate,
Cruel companion of my ill fated destiny,
My disdain for you obvious,
Only now,
As when you, Mistress Fate,
Place a kind finger upon my soul,
I soar,
It seems Mistress Fate that you are,
Leading me down a garden path,
Each day further and indeed farther,
From where it was intended,
I was intended,
To emerge,
Forms complete of the ashes of my own disquiet,
Sullen pages of reckless torment,
And how am I now screaming,
At the universe,
With all I have,
Please rain down on me,
A star that will shine for me alone,
Beacon to that spot where you,
Mistress Fate intends,
For I can no longer portend,
I will not portend,
With loving missives,
Though I crave those words above all else,
And haunting tomes,
Those that purge this soul’s toxic sludge as Stalin once did,
Passion the same for each,
One toward the light,
The other to the dark,
Divided as I am,
Tormented ,
Beguiled and betwixt,
By two extremes,
That led me even further down the garden path,
Reach out for me Mistress Fate,
Extend your courtesy,
Let me lay at the feet of your mindful grace,
Take me by the hand,
As if I were a child,
Your child,
Though do not scorn me,
Instead embrace me,
That I may begin the journey,
Seemingly a marathon,
To where you doth command,
As I feel like a slave though would prefer to honour you,
As humble servant,
To your every whim,
One moment on top of the world,
The next,
Sent to deal with Virgil and Dante,
Cerberus at the Gates of my personal Hell,
Though the Devil kept at bay,
The plague that threatens my life,
With wayward thoughts,
Those not of my creation,
Though clearly of my submission,
Though not an overt omission,
Some things are better left unsaid,
Even to you,
Mistress Fate,
To the forces at work,
Your forces at work,
Savage taskmaster,
School yard bully,
How can this be,
Is this a just reward,
Shall there be a just reward,
Mistress Fate,
Yet to find your way,
Back to me as Angel
Rather than as Loki ,
I have grown tired of the sharp attack of the fallen,
My contempt growing by the minute,
As I realize that your fickle finger,
Is poking me,
Prodding me,
Rather than directing me,
I scream to you,
My marathon yet run,
I beseech you,
I beg of you,
I plead for the sake of all that is right and just in the universe,
Mistress Fate,
Unlock the insane gestures,
Of this tired mind,
Let me ascend to the starry heights,
That I may be closer to your will,
Reveal to me,
A new beginning,
Where all I crave,
All I deserve,
All I’ve ever wanted to know,
Can be mine,
Please Mistress Fate,
Let me know my destiny,
As intended,
From the day I was born.

And so it shall be,
So it now is
By your fickle finger,
That now I arise,
Awoken giant no longer sleeping,
Shining for those who need it most to see
And I am left humbled
By your grace,
I am,


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