Tag Archives: Judge Not

You Don’t Know About Me

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDqTjHXJn7w

‘You don’t know about me…’

How could you possibly?
I mean,
You walked a mile in my shoes,
Want to try on crazy and see how it makes you feel?
This side of lunacy is a sick joke played on me daily,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

A boy trapped inside a mans body,
My mind that of an ancient sage,
My temperament that of a little school child,
Wandering free and innocent,
Though the man in me is guilty,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

Conversing daily,
With Huck and Tom,
Ernest and Edgar,
Peter Pan and Mowgli,
I am the little prince,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

I played in your world,
I did what you wanted,
I tried to be everything you expected,
And I always came up short,
Maddening me,
Saddening me,
Propelling me to a pharmaceutical plain,
Just to be inside the line that you feel secure with,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

Like Tom and Huck,
I travel (proverbially of course),
The Mississippi looking to regain strength,
To regain my sense of self,
Freedom found on treacherous waters,
But none so treacherous as you,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

The third of eight children,
Always stuck in the middle,
Highly educated,
Highly underrated,
My own worst enemy,
Is something I can’t escape?
Me,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

I’ve worked high and low,
Written for the rich,
And serviced compactors for the poor,
I have arrested shoplifters,
And been chef to the stars,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

I’ve been rich and poor,
Always rich in spirit though,
I have lived in well appointed homes,
And a stairwell when it all went south for my father,
I’ve hobnobbed with the famous,
And searched for a meal with the homeless,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

I have loved three women,
Only three,
Though I assure you I love them all,
I have been close to marriage once,
Gotten down on one knee,
And given a beautiful ring to the girl of my dreams,
At least that’s what I thought,
When I discovered the nightmare of apathy,
Only to be cast aside,
A refuge in my own loving,
Let down by love,
So no…
You don’t know about me.

I am scared,
Ripped apart,
Happy,
Sad,
Bad,
Glad,
Proud,
Loyal,
Loving,
Obnoxious,
Loud,
Opinionated,
Knowledgeable,
Brash,
Confused,
Magical,
Delightful,
Caring,
Passionate,
Insightful,
Delicate,
Fragmented,
Torn and twisted,
I am all this and more,
But you…
You don’t know about me.

And I wonder if you ever will!

Though you,
You must,
If this ‘thing,’
Is to be our thing,
You must,
And I believe,
Truly,
You do;

So;

Though you may not know me,
Fully, not yet,
I certainly believe you will
And what’s more,
That you will,
You must,
Like all you see,
All of me,
For all of you!

SDM

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Judgement

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sLF_WNF3qp4

Detained by my own self loathing,

I could not see past the mask that I had assembled,

Equal measure,

Comedy and tragedy,

The story of my life played out on multiple stages,

And in multiple dimensions,

Partially as defense mechanism,

Partially as undeniable stupidity,

For this open book that is my life,

Need not be censored,

Need not be less than what it is,

For you who stand in judgment of me,

Should, as Bob Marley says;

“Judge not, before you judge yourself,”

Acutely aware of my many faults,

Including things that you may not view as blunder,

I stand ready to embrace them,

And if you can not,

Then I must say unto you,

On your merry way,

Trot out of my life,

Like an unbridled and wild horse,

For you will never understand me,

You can never know me,

I am built on Shakespeare’s fatal flaws,

Shakespeare’s fatal flaws a guide map to the stage direction I call life,

And where you see weakness,

I find an ocean of strength,

I find a determined will,

To live,

To be,

To become,

I find virtue (and a little vice),

That now brings me to this,

A manifesto of my own accord,

A new manifesto,

A new life,

My design,

As intrigued by destiny and fate,

As determined by hard work,

Book ended by two parts of myself,

Doppelganger,

Sweet and innocent me (sweet yes, innocent, Judge not)

And then,

The darker,

More Mr. Hyde part of myself,

The voices of my past and present,

And the literary giants of infamy,

Hemingway; “Write drunk, edit sober” Key word; “Drink!”

Calling me to action,

Beyond my fatal flaws,

In spite of them,

Revealing all of me,

Evermore,

Without censor,

Without fear,

Without worry,

For I am,

Sender,

and I am,

Love,

Faulty and flawless,

For me,

For you,

For us!

SDM

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