Tag Archives: Lady Serendipity

The Importance of Muse (6)

In the infinite chaos of perpetually recycled stardust,

The remnants of the big bang reveal to me secrets,

Long misunderstood,

There is an order created by the Ether,

Readily apparent to those who have vision,

Versus those who merely see,

Those who listen,

Versus those who merely hear,

For out in that dark void there exists a vibrancy,

Resonating inside the souls of poets since time immemorial,

A resplendent beauty that unlocks a passion necessary,

To adulate the treasured honour of Muse’s presence,

Your presence,

I adore you,

I love you,

Figurative and literal,

In ways you will never, could never understand,

Despite these hopeless attempts to be

Conduit for the invisible,

Muse,

Not just the royal you, so often presented,

But the perfectly imperfect package,

That stands before me at the ready,

Laying bare your soul,

That I too may do the same,

As these words require

And my literary masters demand.

As said before,

Here, time and again,

The importance of Muse can not be inconspicuous,

For she is an overstatement of all that I deign necessary,

To prevent my emotional suicide,

Loosing my gift in a series of meager attempts,

To force what is not there,

In her absence,
Your absence,
I am nothing but a fool with words,

Though when she comes,

Touching me deep with in,

Those words spill out from me,

Seductive and instructive,

More readily than I can breathe,

Effortless as her inspiration unlocks the key,

That liberates my creative flow,

Endless,

Ebb and rip,

The gravity of her presence,

The tides lead me away from my inner storm,

Toward an awaiting Nirvana,

Whereby the touch of her lips,

Is the ambrosia from which I drink,

Understanding completely the full nature of love,

One only understood by those caught in the rapture,

And endless delight,

Of that perfect phrase,

Capturing a spirit that only you can see,

Only I,

Can see,

Muse!

It so often seems,

That between those moments,

Where splendor presents itself in veiled opportunities,

That the broken shards of me,

Cut deep,

Sending me further into an abyss,

A loving idiot savant,

Where my Black Dog howls,

As I plead with the Ether,

And my Ladies of the night,

Serendipity, Destiny and Fate,

To once more grace me,

Instruct and guide me,

To that necessary ingredient,

Muse,

Which fuels these tomes,

Endless,

An expected necessity,

Cherishing what I see,

What I know,

What I am,

Words,

Wordsmith of Muse.

 

Your importance,

Is akin to a mother’s milk,

To a new born child,

A pirouette to a ballerina,

A canvas to Picasso,

And a great green light for Gatsby,

And yet tragically,

My providence,

As guided by that frenzied Ether I so adore and praise,

Finds me Daisy,

Rather than as a star cross’d lover,

And yet I persist,

I rise,

I look to the heavens,

Praising even the momentary glimpse,

Of true beauty,

Inside your soul,

Muse,

That either none have, could or can see,

But I,

Guided by nature’s call to enthused benevolence,

To touch another as they touch me,

As you touch me,

So yes, Muse,

Your importance is greater than you may ever know.
Constantly,

I find myself in a state of flux,

A perilous and hazardous precinct,

Where my greatest wish,

Becomes my greatest downfall,

Always has been,

Since as early as the Ether first blessed me,

With these heart-rending efforts,

Dancing to the elegance of these ethereal gifts,

Presented by the Ether,

In a form that could only be you,

Muse,

For even those few moments,

Where I get to bask in the sentiments,

Those I crave more than anything else,

Even if for a panicked instant,

As I contemplate the predictable disappearance,

As happens each and every time,

Just as quickly as you arrived,

The infinitely obvious precision of my life,

Abandoned,

Left with these words as evidence,

Of a true gem,

Gems,

The very real importance of Muse,

If I am to survive,

Non Omnis Moriar.

 

Muse,

You are at once my everything,

And nothing,

For I can only seize,

What the Ether permits,

And it is a fickle master,

Guiding these fingers,

As they flicker with the genius, you inspire,

To some the foundation of a delusion of grandeur,

Those that could never understand,

For at least a while,

Never quite long enough,

Making the best of it,

As I bask in the prismatic resplendence of your soul,

The radiance of your smile,

The intense secrets behind those dancing eyes,

And the subtle way that even the simple act of walking,

Can alight in me an abstract prospect,

Captured in an instant, herein,

For you,

For posterity,

For you are Muse,

And without you,

I am lost in Dante’s circles of Hell,

As Virgil laughs,

And The Lost Generation once more consoles me.

 

With an intense vanity,

I fumble like a school child,

Scribbling outside the lines,

Hoping that you might see,

That Pandora’s curiosity,

Resulted in the very box that needs to be open,

If I am to thrive,

If I am to know genuine bliss,

For that is truly what you force me to aspire,

Climbing higher and higher,

Inside a drug induced fury,

Of pheromones clashing,

Serotonin dashing,

Dopamine slashing and adrenaline rushing,

And yet,

Like Hemingway’s haunting presence in my life,

That one true sentence,

That might finally get you,

Royal or otherwise,

Muse,

To see,

To feel,

To believe,

To hold fast,

Might understand,

What even I myself can not,

Me,

If I am to thrive,

It is only Muse,

Because of you,

All I imagine,

All you are.

The importance of Muse,

Of you,

Royal and otherwise,

Creates all I am,

All I will ever be,

The dutiful secretary,

Of the Ether’s grace,

Giving me moments of significance,

That are entirely dependent,

On you,

Muse!

SDM

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Her Veil Parts Slightly…

 

I am a servant,

Your servant,

Here to guide you to the happiness you do not yet know,

And are yet to believe possible,

Anxious to ensure that in your service,

I can somehow enlighten you,

Should you choose it?

Should you see inside your own darkness?

Your own hurt,

Past rejection and self deprecation,

To see what is so clear to the rest of us,

Moreover, that endears me so,

Savoring every moment shared,

Especially with my Celtic kit,

In the dead quiet of each South East Asian night,

Shared harmony

Shall you like the tales of old?

My proverbial Rapunzel let down your hair,

Though not of gold,

Letting me be your freedom,

For indisputably this must be, like you,

The beginning of the most beautiful fairy tale.

 

I am a servant,

Your servant,

It is my humble joy to create with you,

Should you allow me,

A smile as Father Time intended,

It is my pleasure to confidently open your eyes,

Your heart and your mind,

Tickling your soul, as I perceive it longs to be,

Pleasing it as I long to be love for love,

In service of you,

Muse.

 

I am a servant,

Your servant,

My bliss created by your elation,

I am a servant,

Yours,

Should you have me?

Seeing what others already have,

What I know you have,

Can you overcome your fears?

Your doubts and reservations?

Will you try?

 

I am a servant,

Your servant,

Come to reveal the power of love,

True love,

The power of you,

The true you,

To make a change,

Today,

With only a thought,

Realizing what sincerely is inside of you,

Rather than this darkness you portend,

Will you choose happiness,

Or maintain the status quo?

 

As your servant,

It is my great delight,

To see that twinkle in your perky brown eyes,

Shining,

Gratefully in my direction,

And through my service,

I heal my wounds,

Release my demons,

The shackles of my past,

Keeping my Black Dog at bay,

While Hemingway relishes that, again my fingers bleed,

I am your servant,

Humble,

Awaiting your command,

Muse,

As the Ether, and my ladies,

Serendipity, Destiny and Fate intend.

Please,

Be not fickle,

I am not too proud to beg,

For what I feel is pure,

In this moment and those to come,

For you!

Shall your veil part slightly?

 

SDM

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The Rebirth of Me by Love

Contrary to mounting questions,

Fears and wonder,

I find myself awash in potential answers,

Love changes everything,

You,

Have changed,

Everything,

In all your spectacular colours,

Bathing in your spirit,

Radiant and shining,

Despite clutter and confusion,

And what others may think,

Muse,

Finding a joy that is as fleeting as time itself,

I beg what dreams may come,

Have come,

With you,

Due to

My mistresses, those guardians of my night,

Fate and Destiny, dazzling with intention,

For us,

As Lady Serendipity extends her hand,

Leading me down a path that I dare not go,

Not here, not now,

Though I must,

Though we must,

Allowing our adoration to burn brightly,

Mutually,

Salvation ascending anew,

As we know a love requited,

This, ours,

Here and now,

As words flow freely from my fingers,

Warrior Poet,

Held in the legions of lovers past,

Considering you, lover new,

Poet, artist, banker and thief,

Those lovers recognize the spiritual awakening of desire,

And I am awakened,

As too are you,

Summons delivered me by a lone dove

From Father Time and Mother Nature,

To be a mother in your nature,

To be a father with you in time,

Demanding submission to the purposed entreaty of your voice,

Sloughing off the faults of the past,

Determined to the beautiful present,

And envisioning a future with you,

A changed man,

A determined man,

Twenty five years changed in an instant,

Because of the powerful suggestion of your smile,

The all enveloping blanket of your passion,

Leading me to me,

Opening my eyes, where once there was nothing,

But darkness,

To become,

New realities,

Aided by the approaching summit of opportunity,

Regardless of challenges,

Regardless of obstacles,

One day closer,

One day closer,

One day not close enough,

But I will submit,

I will sacrifice,

I will stand proud and true,

On the sidelines of a temporary repose,

Though for now,

My mistresses and lady, nature and time assure me,

The time is right,

It is time for our loves advance,

The purpose is clear,

It is time for our loves advance

On cherished risk,

Risks,

Our love will rise,

I will submit,

Knowing the reward is one we both deserve,

I will submit,

So as I sit here,

Lowly fool,

Humbled by what you reveal to me,

Insolent imbecile in emotional undress,

It has to be clear,

Who I am and who I need to be,

You have to see,

And I know you will,

As I,

Though the pieces not yet in place,

Check no mate,

Not yet,

The end result,

Obvious,

Feels like past battles lost,

Are to become present won,

Future won,

As my entire life has flipped right side up,

And it is you,

My angelic Hmong Key,

Only you,

Memories of distant failures perceived,

The dark days are now bright,

As scarcely now, can I believe, my greatest fortune,

Risen of my greatest misfortune,

Clergy of my own tragedy,

High priest and priestess we,

You have touched me,

Touched my soul,

Rewired my thoughts,

Only you,

Will do,

Only you,

Distant echoes, becoming less so,

As we consider,

One day closer,

One day closer,

One more day nearer,

To you,

And a new blessed embrace,

Reborn,

Renewed,

Reinvigorated for and with you;

Love changes everything,

Up to and including me;

I love you Hmong Key!

SDM

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Manic Depression (Crash Again)

You’ve got your ball

you’ve got your chain

tied to me tight tie me up again

who’s got their claws
in you my friend
Into your heart I’ll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I’m so lost for you

You come crash into me
And I come into you
I come into you
In a boys dream
In a boys dream”

I hate myself… for loving you.

I love myself…for hating you,

No… no… no…

That can’t be right,

Though these feelings are so intense,

Blossoming with every passing moment,

That it feels as if I am being run over by a bus,

Repeatedly,

By you,

So no,

I don’t hate myself for loving you,

I hate myself for hating you,

when in reality things just fall apart,

just like I have,

just like I did because of the decisions we had to make,

perilous and spirit shaking,

Yet,

I love that with you I knew a home,

A real home,

Such that I have never known,

I love myself for loving you,

Better as I am,

As a man,

For having known every part of you,

And there is so much more I would love to discover,

Will you let me

As I am discovering every part of me,

You always remind me,

That I had to find that place,

(that now seems I have discovered anew),

where I had true inner peace,

engaging my Buddha,

detachment from everything and nothing,

look and I am there,

searching for you,

high and low,

doing everything,

EVERYTHING I CAN,

To get you to see,

these are the thoughts of a ravaged mind,

ravaged by love,

ravaged by you,

I want to be ravaged by you,

And I know I will again,

Won’t I?

I think of you at least fifty nine minutes of every hour,

One minute I am left consumed,

Sorting out the parts of I and I and I,

That seem damned to lovers limbo,

At least for now,

But today’s present,

And all the days between now and then,

Is that you will always be comfortable knowing,

That I care for you,

Deeply,

That I love you,

Truly,

I love myself for loving you,

For the provenance of my souls advance,

Lay neatly,

Undiscovered in your hands,

For the past is the past,

People can and do change if the circumstance is right,

Soon to be unearthed in your thoughts,

In your hands,

Precious though they may be that ripped my heart right from my chest,

Did you look at it while it was still,

Beating,

No… no… no…

That is not right,

You see, this is what manic depression does,

Do you understand?
Do you care to?

Just as you have shown me the way,
I too will be your guiding light…

And yet,

Truly you reveal in me a gentleness,

A greatness,

That I have never known,

One that I now embrace,

Fully and completely,

Transforming into a better man as

You touched my life with cupid’s fingertips,

Guided by my ladies Destiny, Serendipity and Fate,

And now I am left in a contrast and comparison,

Of the days we shared,

The memories we made,

The life we knew,

The love we knew,

The love we still know,

Yes… Yes… Yes..

That is right,

It has to be,

For you are a heavenly present,

My divine Angel,

Muse,

Hmong Key,

Which is why,

As I battle myself for supremacy of self,

Becoming more each day,

I know…

I believe…

I long…

I love… You, I love,

So,

I wonder…

Was it all a dream?

And if so, can we dream again,

Love reborn,

By compassion, understanding, persistence and honesty,

I love you

And I know

You love me too.

I love you Hmong Key!

SDM

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But Should I?

I want more and more and then some…”

It’s true,

I’ve done it before,
And I can do it again.

I can make you love me,
But should I?

Perhaps this sounds like brash arrogance,
Or a delusion of grandeur,
But I understand the value of the content of my character,
I fully comprehend the magical quality of these words,
I know how they delight the soul,
Excite the mind,
And make the heart patter.

I can make you swoon as you’ve never before,
But should I?

As worlds apart two dreamers collide,
Untold forces of the universe,
Unseen, unheard and unknown,
Though not unfelt,
Create new paradigms,
Offering up suggestions of what could and should be,
For the great expansiveness of the cosmos,
Is nothing compared to the affairs of love.

I can write words from the ether,
Guided my by subconscious,
Flutter my fingers across these keys,
Opening for you a door to possibility,
You, yourself, may not have known existed.

I can reach deep with the essence of you,
Consuming it in an instant,
Devouring your hidden desires,
Dining on your concealed repressions,
Feasting on your true aspirations,
Manifesting them, for you,
In ways you’d never thought could be real,
Though I grapple with my own intent,
I know these things to be true.

This Warrior Poet,
Ferocious tiger of love’s momentum,
Filled with an overstandable,
(Meaning far beyond understanding) charisma,
Brought to me through cherished memories,
Of ancestors I’ve never met,
Both Irish and Scottish brogue,
And a romantic heart,
Will unseat your fears,
Tenderly wrapping them in blanketing enthusiasms,
Where emotion leaves reason behind,
Allowing you the welcome intrusion,
Of something you’ve never seen or felt before.

But should I?
Will I?
Only my Muses, guardians of my chosen light,
Mistresses Fate and Destiny along with Lady Serendipity,
Can determine that future.

From the distance of the sea of tranquility,
To the depths of the sea of love,
This Warrior Poet seeks answers within,
That I cannot be without,
For the future of who and what I am,
Depends on the subconscious appraisal,
Appraisals,
Of what I should and should not do

and whether you find the strength, courage and conviction, to,

S T A Y.

It’s true,
I’ve done it before,
And I can do it again,
I can make you love me,
But should I?

Should you,

S T A Y?

SDM

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Only You…

Only You…

How do I pang for that someone,
Somewhere,
Out there in the ether,
The same ether that powers these words,
Tonight, as Cupid’s Conduit,
Considering this life long dream,
While My Mistresses Destiny and Fate,
Pursue the will of Lady Serendipity,
Who, in their grace
Now reveal to me what I always knew was true,
Intrinsic,
That inside of me burns the endless fire of passion’s delight,
That this chosen light,
Will not be dulled,
Cannot be suppressed,
And shall not be undone,
This Warrior Poet as love’s true voice in training,
For as yet I cannot reveal,
The full caress of these insights rare,
Where by day and night,
My only fascination,
Is the affair of the heart,
That will unleash in me, for you,
The unrestrained call of primal desire,
As guided by my ladies of the night,
Who coddle this broken heart,
Shattered by mistaken appraisals,
Piecing it back together brighter than it was before,
Allowing me the trespass of histories ghosts,
That my shadow dancing with a romantic ideal,
Will become my realized betrothed dowry,
These words though written by this hand,
Belong to your heart, your soul and your mind,
A gift so inconsequential for who you are and what you mean,
For their worth,
Are only registered,
When finally our eyes meet,
As our lips dazzle and entrance,
And the flare of our mutual appetite,
For a lifetime of embraced idealization,
Of our collective quintessential romantic dalliances,
Each and every moment of each and every day,
Together or apart,
How do I pang for you,
It’s here, plain for all to see,
Though the only one I wish to, hope to, pray for,
Is she that will finally see,
I am love,
And I belong to only you.

SDM

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Let’s Thrive

I will survive,
As will you,
Of that there is no question, qualm or debate,
We will survive,
But like me,
Don’t you want more?
I know I do,
And I know that you do too,
Hidden behind the veil of conversations bright,
Where like grains of sand in an infinite universe,
Time reveals all,
Telltale suggestions that refine into future intents,
I want to thrive,
Found in the capitulation of great eagerness,
The wonderful sensation of never wanting to be without,
For a life imagined a million times or more,
Day in and day out,
Lost inside the luscious temptation of your gaze,
Ponder without end the sweet sensation, endlessly savored,
Of our lips meeting,
In a dual to enflamed zeal, en garde Mademoiselle, Fili, Bisous, Besos and more,
Renaissance Man and Warrior Poet,
Knight in shining amour approaches,
En garde,
Kiss,
Pulling back just long enough to luxuriate in your essence,
Before we start this dance,
As guided by the hands of Lady Serendipity,
I know you feel her too,
A tango in time, transcendent,
Hoping to move you so deeply within, your soul transmits,
A million phoenixes,
Those of your past regret, past transgressions and  past loss,
I want to wake up and sense your divine energy,
Feel it completely,
Allowing myself the lavish wonder of all you are,
I seek a lifetime of breakfast, lunch and dinner,
Saturday afternoon walks in the park, hand in hand,
Arm in arm or hugging as we will,
Finding a quiet bench where we can snuggle,
Soaking in our surroundings,
Those are of no matter so long as you are near,
Talk about how crazy life was before we found each other,
Wake up on Sunday morning and make you breakfast in bed,
Deciding on a whim to stay there all day,
Talking, reading the paper, cuddling, kissing,
Whatever else two passionate grown ups do in bed,
Nudge nudge wink wink,
(we all know I may grow old but I refuse to grow up)
I want to leave you there for only a minute or two,
Come back into the room with the most lavish bouquet you’ve ever seen,
Pleased by the giddy laugh and widening smile,
I hope to find that place we both are comfortable,
Where we allow ourselves the privilege of saying,
What was I doing before you,
For it surely wasn’t living,
Though it absolutely was life,
I want to meet your family and your friends,
Travel the world or just each other’s dreams,
I hope to type feverishly with you at my side,
Looking over my shoulder, wondering aloud,
Is that about me,
Shyly smiling,
As I wonder for a moment whether or not I should say no,
Only to wait a moment more to say yes, of course it is,
I want to make you ten thousand dinners,
Champagne and candlelight,
Though takeout and a nice Malbec would do just fine,
I want to feast on your love,
One tasty second at a time,
For all the days of my life,
I want to thrive,
Though for now,
You and I,
Must be content,
Surviving.

On second thought…

Let’s thrive!

SDM

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