Tag Archives: mind

A Love Letter (With All My Heart, Mind, Body and Soul)

 

All My Heart (A Love Letter to Someone Special)

My Love, My Monkey;

Since my birth I have dreamt of your arrival. A loving boy who always knew that you would arrive. I did not know where or when, how or why, but I knew, steadfastly, that you would arrive.

And here you are, arrived on gilded chariots  from parts unknown though I suspect you are heaven sent. I suspect that you were made for me and I was made for you – soul mates in the universal sense of the word in that our energies have brought us together in this place and at this time.

The moment I laid eyes on you my soul was set ablaze by your resplendent beauty and I am not speaking of your hair or your eyes, though wondrously beautiful, I am not speaking of your bosom or your bottom, though also spectacular, I speak of course, of your spiritual beauty. The parts that none sees and certainly can not necessarily understand. I did, in an instant. It was unmistakable the moment I saw it – And in that moment I became yours – completely, without question or reservation. Unequivocally yours ever more.

Your divine spirit and profound energy lift me to a place that I have never been, to a place I had imagined existed though only found in you. They inspire me to reach for the furthest advances of our universe to taking you to a place that you have never been. A place that I have never been.  A place we now get to discover together and what a gift that is. I am humbled by your presence in my life and feel that I have won the universal love prize – You! Are you truly mine?

They say; “Home is where the heart is,” and I have never truly known a home. Until now! Until here! Until you! Taking time to discover our universal creation of this eternal bliss…

In you I have found a place that I can and will call home and like a giddy school child I am excited to understand the recesses of you. I am ready to play emotional tag learning the ins and outs of you completely. I am ready, willing and able to be the father of your children and know that they will be the most beautiful expression of the love we share. The embodiment of our love for all the world to see. No longer repressed or hidden, instead, shining, like the sun in day and the stars at night.

Your smile could light up a black hole and every room you enter it is your smile that is the tractor beam of everyone’s attention. The way you giggle with delight at the simplest of things tickles my soul as only a muse can and you most assuredly are my muse.

My muse, I heard once the most beautiful statement and I include it here for it is truly how I feel. Beethoven wrote to an unknown lover and started each letter with My Immortal Beloved and for me you have become just that, My Immortal Beloved.

You are the air that I breathe, the blood rushing through my veins, you are the center of my universe and I aspire to be everything and more that you desire. I beseech you, My Immortal Beloved, dance this dance with me to infinity, that we may know love in ways we never imagined. In ways the world has never witnessed. Together becoming a new meaning for the word – Love.

Dance with me to the sweet surrender. Dance with me to the end of time. Dance with me my muse into the many tomorrows we will share and let us together find the ultimate pleasure of agape love each morning anew as we awake in each others arms. Together confidant in the knowledge that I was born and made for you and you were born and made for me.

Having fallen seven times figuratively, I get up eight, literally, for you;

My Immortal Believed, I am yours evermore,

 

Sender

 

 

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Conniving Imbalance


Every action has an equal and opposite reaction,
This despite indefatigable efforts,
Has proven itself true,
At least for the realm of science,
Yet it would seem,
The same is true of our actions,
Despite the laws of science and nature,
The unintended consequences,
Or collateral damage,
Leading us down a path of social Darwinism,
Where the rules are as transient and varied,
As there are people on this earth,
Competing vision,
Notions,
Ideas,
Diametrically opposed opposites,
Polar if you will, BiPolar,
Such that I consider what action caused my current affect.

I whole heartily believe it was an accident,
When I was thirteen,
My stubborn head,
Bouncing off the pavement of my exclusive boys school,
Parochial if I may,
Though there is no arnica that can fix my proverbial brain bruise,
To you,
The casual observer,
I may even seem normal,
(TRUST me, no one that knows me would call me normal)
The reasons evident for this are simple,
What ails me does not manifest for eyes to see,
Ears to hear,
Mouths to taste,
Noses to smell,
And your hand cannot touch what ails me,
What is invisible to you?

Invisible to all,
Is hell for me,
For what ails me is manageable,
Not curable,
At least not for now,
If fortunate,
And I have done so well,
These words may offer you insights into what I am going through,
Spitting toxic vitriol,
Free from inhibitions,
Allowing myself the luxury of pure and innocent truth,
That is dark and deviant within me,
These words are my truth,
They are the signposts for what it means to be me,
What it feels like to be me,
Why I have removed myself from city life,
And run for the country,
Countries,
Laos,
Where the air is fresh, the scenery is lush,
And for at least an hour each day I feel at peace.

Choosing my battles,
I bat away all suggestions,
By my psyche, ego or my id,
That I and I and I cannot reclaim my life,
Fighting though I must and do,
Daily,
Transient voices,
Powerful hallucinations,
All of which I battle,
On my own,
Having played the pharmaceutical card,
Only to discover it made it hard,
Harder, for me to cope,
For I do not care for you to feel this pain,
I do not care for you to see what it does to me,
The ravages of mind, body and soul,
Seemingly my possessed intelligence,
Conniving with some force out there,
I call it the Ether, the Universe or Karma,
Having no faith in what others consider God,
Choosing instead to have faith in science,
Science that is neither precise nor understood,
Plodding around in my chemical imbalances,
Have faith in the answers I am given,
Though they are always prefaced with a,
“We don’t quite know how it works, but it does.”

Initially I hid behind a mask, a costume, a uniform and in the shadows,
No more,
I have decided that to stay the course,
Means to be brutal and frank in my honesty,
That not only you may appraise,
But so too can I,
These days of manic disaster,
Where I persevere.

SDM

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Close Your Eyes

Close your eyes, have no fear

Pray I,
Will you submit,
Allow me this courtesy of gestures rare,
Placing my hands upon you,
Pray you,
Feel the warmth of my soul,
The immediate sensation liberating me,
Undeniable the effect your aura inspires,
My deepest thoughts now fade away,
Firmly rooted in you and only you,
Momentarily,
As our souls ,
Like universal waves,
Crash into our consciousness,
Let silence reign as they commune,
Our souls,
Two alike,
Both searching for something more,
Meaning in a life that has become cluttered,
Affected by the constant drone of so called advance,
Pray I,
Close your eyes,
Leave that world behind,
As I entreat,
Feel the powerful intention,
Of one reaching out for another,
Of me reaching out for you,
Hoping, no, knowing if you shall let me,
I will
Stroke your insecurities,
While acknowledging mine,
Silence still our beacon,
Words unnecessary,
As our eyes meet,
Gleaming from unspoken sensibilities,
Conducting a survey of the emotional feast before us,
The physical entrapments,
Of our own intense design,
That tonight we may be free from worry or constraint,
Pray I,
Together,
Inhibitions lost,
Paradise found,
That tonight,
We may dream a dream a thousand times or more,
Let’s defy the laws of time and space,
And stay blessedly trapped,
In a moment such as this,
Live out a reality that seeks to change our conceptions,
Unshackle our reticence,
In a moment,
That precise moment where we have thrown caution to the wind,
Hand in hand,
Guided by a creeping suspicion,
That something new and wondrous,
Has rung a bell,
And that a new round has begun,
The life cycle of passionate resonance,
Can you feel it,
Will you allow yourself to luxuriate,
Will you allow freedom to inflict upon your soul,
The waves of a resolute blushing craze,
To touch you,
To reverberate through your spirit,
To enchant,
To pilot you to an endearing collapse,
Celebrating anew,
Pray I you,
Close your eyes,
Feel the tender warmth,
Without words,
You effect with such ease,
Have no fear,
Fear not the unmistakable,
What is expressed in this quiet room,
Silent,
On this delightful night,
No matter where we shall be,
Concern and consideration not our reward this night,
As I adore you,
Placing my hands,
Wishing the invitation of your great esteem,
That so stunningly radiates from your frame,
That so perfectly conceals the giant within,
Pray I,
That together we might know peace,
Of mind,
Of body,
And soul,
Dreaming as lovers do,
Laughing as children might,
Thinking as sages repressed,
Giving in,
To that initial touch,
Pray I…

Close your eyes, have no fear.

Come back… to me!

SDM

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Existentialism and Depression

Kierkegaard and Nietzsche,
Sartre, Camus and de Beauvoir,
Kafka and Heidegger,
Brilliant all,
Existentialist progenitors repudiating science for something more,
In theories now grown up,
Failed,
In but one thing,
Loosely describing humanity as having,
Reality and a freedom of experience,
Which defies the existence of objective value,
What of a mind run amuck?
What of senility?
Alzheimer’s?
Paranoid Schizophrenia?
Depression?
Bipolar?
How pray tell would these forebears explain these conditions?
How would they explain the captivity of a mind abandoned of reason?
Exempt from rationality?
Imprisoned by neurons misfiring?
What would they say today?
How would this change existentialism?
The inane insecurities,
That like a rasp,
Attack the very core of experience,
Defy logic,
And secrete powerful subconscious demands,
Holding dynamic a mind descending into itself,
Revealing little of objective value or experience,
For having lost ones marbles,
Or a portion therein,
Is no choice as may be suggested,
But rather the tyranny of that misunderstood possession,
All humans imbued,
Body, mind and soul,
Which when run away,
Reveals the faults of these theories,
Suggesting instead,
That a distressed and depressed mind,
Is in fact victim of reality?
Though warden of freedom,
This tempered existence is stressed to the point of despair,
Of personal experience,
Pray Tell,
Is the Black Dog,
Gregor Samsa?

SDM

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Only You…

Only You…

How do I pang for that someone,
Somewhere,
Out there in the ether,
The same ether that powers these words,
Tonight, as Cupid’s Conduit,
Considering this life long dream,
While My Mistresses Destiny and Fate,
Pursue the will of Lady Serendipity,
Who, in their grace
Now reveal to me what I always knew was true,
Intrinsic,
That inside of me burns the endless fire of passion’s delight,
That this chosen light,
Will not be dulled,
Cannot be suppressed,
And shall not be undone,
This Warrior Poet as love’s true voice in training,
For as yet I cannot reveal,
The full caress of these insights rare,
Where by day and night,
My only fascination,
Is the affair of the heart,
That will unleash in me, for you,
The unrestrained call of primal desire,
As guided by my ladies of the night,
Who coddle this broken heart,
Shattered by mistaken appraisals,
Piecing it back together brighter than it was before,
Allowing me the trespass of histories ghosts,
That my shadow dancing with a romantic ideal,
Will become my realized betrothed dowry,
These words though written by this hand,
Belong to your heart, your soul and your mind,
A gift so inconsequential for who you are and what you mean,
For their worth,
Are only registered,
When finally our eyes meet,
As our lips dazzle and entrance,
And the flare of our mutual appetite,
For a lifetime of embraced idealization,
Of our collective quintessential romantic dalliances,
Each and every moment of each and every day,
Together or apart,
How do I pang for you,
It’s here, plain for all to see,
Though the only one I wish to, hope to, pray for,
Is she that will finally see,
I am love,
And I belong to only you.

SDM

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