Tag Archives: Mistress Destiny

Unrealized Apologies

There is nowhere to hide,

From yourself,

Myself,

For one cannot hide from their own truth,

Truths,

The perpetration of penetrating solemn condemnation,

For I have been measured,

As was our child,

Found wanting,

Laying bare,

Exposed,

A soul to shine,

Souls,

Wandering,

Filled with a lust for life,

Not just mine own,

But also of that higher calling,

The calling of all species,

Procreation,

Pro,

Creation,

Commanded by a power I can not see,

But courses through my veins,

A purpose driven emotion,

Long repressed,

Only to once more,

Come off and up,

From a moment of sheer ecstasy,

The giddy smile, of a beauty rare,

Caught in the resplendence of a soul,

Hmong Key,

That also wanders,

Nomadic, lost and free,

Confused and scared,

Just as I was,

Just as I am,

Allowing once more,

Things outside of my control,

To fell me,

Like an ear of corn,

Stalked,

Lopped off like Van Gogh’s,

Where the darkness of the night,

Reveals no stars,

Just hidden scars,

However, there can be no removal of this stain,

Upon my soul,

Upon my soul,

Strained,

Whereby again the forces at work,

Arisen from the past,

Cry out to me,

In tomes and hues,

Of a sorrow that I cannot deny,

A sorrow I will not deny,

Zion clenched from my ready fist,

Aborting,

To fight for what is right,

Yet, here I am, exposed,

Sitting here,

In abject pain,

Once caused by a tango,

Of we, two,

A beautiful night,

Nights,

Of passion raw and rare,

Glimpsing the prospect of a new portend,

The life imagined,

So many times before,

Foolish hubris of youth,

The mental anguish of the manic high,

Brought on by the words I have longed to hear,

“I’m pregnant!”

Longing temporarily answered,

One moment of paradise, found, moments,

Lost,

Words every bit,

If not more powerful,

Than,

“I love you!”

For those words,

Demand a higher calling answer,

The Ether,

My Mistresses Destiny, Serendipity, and Fate,

Dancing me ever closer,

Without consent,

Achelous’ daughters,

Calling me ever nearer to a manifest providence,

That once more sought and seeks,

To destroy me,

Figurative and literal,

While Demeter rebukes them,

And I,

And I and I,

What can I say,

What can I do,

To escape this tortured hell,

Greeted by my Black Dog,

Cerberus no longer chained,

Ready and willing to feast not just on my soul,

But that of you and our child,

Whose only crime,

Was conception,

Ironic,

The complete circles of Dante’s comedy,

Divine,

Yet cast as I am,

Into the fiery pits,

Devastated once more,

Again,

By the circumstances of fortune,

That favoured not this bold,

Warrior Poet,

For in my candor,

In my moment of sheer bliss,

I could not see,

I would not see,

That which was so obviously painted in front of me,

As it had been behind me all these years,

Hell has a permanent place in my soul,

Travelling with me every step of the way,

As the Devil, dances, gleefully,

Like Nero,

Fiddle in hand,

As my insides burn,

Invisible to you,

Realized to me,

A tortured existence,

Brought on by ill tempered passion,

Though surely, I would gladly trade,

Every breath,

Every beat of my heart,

That my child may have lived,

Our child,

For the capacity, with love tendered,

Would have rendered a cherished gift,

Treasure,

To behold,

As surely, I would have,

In addition, indeed venerate at this moment of delicious torment.

Those words,

Sweet when softly spoken,

Inside a darkened room,

Forbearing this brooding sentience,

Sentence,

Life,

Death,

As the decision made,

Not by me,

Had no other choice,

No other choice,

But to stand back and watch,

A further demise,

Like Icarus, I had flown,

Too close to the sun of my own realizations,

Be careful what you wish for,

As the hidden truths of majority rule,

Are nothing but the illusion,

Of allusion,

Creed of dissent,

My voice drowned out,

My will denied,

As a piece of me died,

Dies,

Once more,

Again,

Confronted,

By the defeat of necessity,

Necessity,

Not necessarily so,

But the weakness of temptation,

Insane,

Leads down a path more taken,

Rather than the one which makes all the difference,

Would have,

Could have,

Should have,

Priorities checked and unchecked,

Crushed,

By the iniquity of my own acquiescence,

Though nothing could be done,

Nothing.

Vacuous apologies,

Masking terribly this gloomy sorrow,

Meek,

Sorry is not the hardest thing to say,

It is the hardest thing to realize,

For even in these words,

This expression of endless grief,

I know what I have done,

What we have done,

To what I have been a party,

To what we two caused, both in love and in lust,

Deceived by youthful exuberance,

Guilty,

Blood on my hands,

My own,

Our own,

That of our child,

Desired,

Yet,

Determined resilience to a lifetime concerned,

Whereby everything in that moment changed,

I remember,

Hmong Key,

The exact expression,

That you feared would be our demise,

Instead exposing my lifelong desires,

Deftly engaged,

For months,

Until hell hath no fury,

Like cultural mores,

And the stink of corroding flesh,

The die already cast,

Our own,

I remember,

I remember,

I remember,

Now lost inside the strain and sorrow,

Of knowing,

Tomorrow,

Tomorrow and tomorrow,

Was taken not just from you or I,

But the beautiful bright eyes,

Of the life we destroyed,

Sorry just does not seem to be enough,

Not for me,

Not now,

Not here,

With the advent of a child,

Torn from my longing desires,

Now in passionate retreat,

Sorry will never be enough,

Not for me,

Not,

Ever.

SDM

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Road I’ve Been Down

Muse,

Of fire,

Ascending,

The brightest heaven of invention,

As promised by Shakespeare,

My birthright,

Long ago sworn by the Ether,

For only stolen moments here and there,

Poof,

Gone…

 

Where are you,

Where are you Muse,

Where do you hide,

Reside not only in my mind…

 

Why do you not show your face?

 

You have forsaken me just as love,

You have abandoned me,

Abandoned us,

The intense provocations of our young love,

Tempered by the hard and cold realities,

Our child paying the price,

One all too high,

Crashing me into a widening despair,

The grand canyon reverberating,

With my black dog’s howl,

How can you,

Muse,

Leave me more hopeless and helpless,

Lost in your confusion?

 

Failure, once more,

Knowing the wrong,

Yet feeling the right,

Muse can it be so,

That you suffer from an abject detestation of love’s grandest design,

For me?

Do you know what love is?

 

I was born of love,

Molded and forged by its waters that run deep,

Both its presence and absence,

The craving and the realization,

The departure and desertion,

For…

It is a tragic reality,

That Muse, the world knows that I am love,

Willing and able to commit myself without hesitation,

Even now,

Surrender to that lofty romantic ideal,

Especially now,

But for reasons unclear,

Perhaps cultural, familial or even more sinister,

You could not see, would not see,

Though assured you must be Muse,

One day, you will understand,

Though poof,

I am not there

(although I long to be ever more).

 

Muse,

Of fire,

I beg of you,

Return to these fingers,

This mind aching,

Reeling,

Yearning,

Unleash the Ether’s intent,

Once more use me as spark to reveal not just me,

But the world I see,

Through a child’s eyes,

As I see it,

For the rest,

You know of whom I speak,

For me,

But for you,

There is nothing I could not do,

I could not be,

For you Muse,

I would give my all,

The chances we didn’t take are always those we regret… forever!

 

Chances,

Second or otherwise,

This altruism,

Always finds us in the end,

When the hours are long,

But life is short.

And I wonder,

Will you ever feel the pain of these ripe cancellations,

First of our child,

Fatherhood a profound guardian,

Giving meaning to this existence,

Then of our star cross’d love?

A pox on the mental houses,

Of I and I and I.

 

Muse,

Of fire,

When will you again grace me with elegant prose,

When will you reveal yourself to me once more,

That I may be conduit for your greatness?

 

Allow me to shine for you,

With you,

By you

For all the world to see,

But only you to behold,

As I adore you,

Exalt you,

More intensely with each uncontrolled neuron,

Though my mind is awash in flags of red,

My heart is electrified with a rainbow of sensations,

Finding not the emptiness in a pot of gold,

Rather realizing fortune favours the valiant,

Who realize the best things in life are not things

And must always be treasured,

Cherished to the end,

Regardless of circumstance.

 

Muse,

Of fire,

I wish of you,

For you,

To return once more,

Return,

Until my fingers bleed,

Until my soul is crushed,

Only to be precious again,

Can I Muse,

Be precious,

Again?

 

Muse,

Of fire,

Come to me,

Please of you I beg,

Pleading with my Mistresses,

Fate, Serendipity and Destiny,

Overwhelming my insecurities,

Breaking down the walls,

Like Joshua at Jericho,

And no less weighty,

Shattered objections,

Finding peace,

In you,

With you,

For you,

Come to me,

As I know you want to,

Frightened as you are,

So too am I,

Although,

Together we can and should journey toward the light,

Chosen,

Muse,

Of fire…

D

N

E

C

S

A

 

And liberate my heart, body, mind and soul

 

 

D

N

E

C

S

A

 

To set us free…

 

D

N

E

C

S

A

 

Freeing yourself from the chains that bind you,

For despite my passion,

My deepening desire,

My soul,

On fire,

I can not liberate your mind,

Only you,

Only you can Muse,

Thus I beg of you…

D

N

E

C

S

A

SDM

 

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

The Moon and The Sun

Containing an insatiable excitement,

Strikes me as foolhardy, an unnecessary impossibility,

As driven by my favourite ladies,

So too I hope for you they will become,

This enchantment we can share,

As we did once, we will again,

Become,

Intoxicated by ambrosia,

Mistresses Destiny, Fate and Serendipity,

Clashing together in a beautiful symphony,

Where the universe is conductor,

And we are but pieces,

Brought together,

For our assimilation of what can be,

Such that only budding feelings may bloom,

Those that began the day we met,

Our eyes, our smiles and our souls,

Who could have known, between then and now,

Directed by the goddesses of love and attraction,

Into infinity,

True love never dies.

 

These Celtic deities; Achtland, Medb, Finncaev and Aidin,

Conchenn or Oenghis,

The sexual chemistry obvious and ready to be tapped,

Not touching you one of the hardest things I’ve ever done,

Touching you, even more so,

Possibly, though as yet unproven, one of the best,

With subtle giggles and tempted expressions,

Conversations free from the unnecessary melodrama of the daily grind,

Instead of aspirations, inspirations and the things that brought us here,

Carefully considered as this odyssey presses on.

 

Those passionate Greeks reveal,

Aphrodite, Eros, Hebe and Suadela,

Thalia, Venus and Cythera,

Each singing songs unlike the Sirens, toward our yearning,

Rather like the Muses,

Reaching inside of me and commanding forth,

Words that resemble silent thoughts,

Until this time was nigh,

Words unspoken,

Quiet admirations for precious enticements, subtle,

Those soon may unmask spellbinding intentions,

Those that again show this heart can feel,

Does feel,

Fluttering as hummingbird’s wings,

Flickering like the bright of a bonfire,

My temptations.

 

Perhaps Bintang, Ezili or Havea lolo funua,

Each together as quorum decide,

This pure desire shall be rewarded still,

Beating anew the drums of sexual fervor,

Communicating still in the abyss of time,

Finding a simple shared smile,

That leads to so much more,

Ix Che, Kanikanihia, Qadesh or Tlazolteotl,

Around personal fantasy’s conference table,

Drawing decisions from distinctions of pure desires,

Raw, ripe and blossoming,

As has been true for as long as we have known,

The perfect glint in the others’ eyes,

Knowing what we could have done,

Choosing what we did not do just as much as what we did.

 

What of Sjofn, Suadela or Urunrupuin or maybe Xtabay,

Are they to be believed that these hands,

These invisible forces,

Prevented us from jumping in too soon,

Giving rise to passions that may have dulled,

Without the anticipation of something so fresh,

As to rejuvenate our minds, bodies and souls?

 

Only time will tell,

If the grand design of these goddesses was of such import,

That the result, now within reach, is undeniable,

Their fallibility unchecked as mortals we,

Come together,

Crashing into each others lives like waves,

Leaving something each time we crest,

Taking something as we depart.

 

Only time will tell,

Preciously,

The wisdom of these loving sages,

The wisdom of our decisions,

The wisdom of our love;

 

Though I suspect,

Their sagacity is beyond reproach.

I am the sun,

And you Hmong Key are the moon,

And as the Hmong tale reveals,

I like the sun,

Die every night,

So that your beauty can live on,

Every night,

Always…

I love you!

 

 

SDM

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

I’m Glad I Didn’t Meet You… Before… I Died!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z06gUeqUpeo

 

It’s funny, how words reach the soul,

From a smiling song,

I’m Glad,

I Didn’t ,

Die,

Before I met;

You!

Even an ocean apart,

Once literal,

Oceans,

Now figurative,

No longer true,

For it is beyond the realm of possibility,

That I am starred in the face,

By thoughts that are indeed not,

So great for those ladies of amorous deliberations,

Mine,

My Mistresses Destiny and Fate,

Sing a tune invisible and unheard,

Like those scars I try to hide,

Yet;

Through a choir of distant stars,

To a world not ready for their imparts,

One song that reaches at the strings within,

Tugging them,

In directions only moments before unthought-of,

For they bequeath to me,

Through the soft caress of words,

And the subtle knowledge of touches, deft and daft,

Wild insight to the nature of human longing,

Two erstwhile lovers without love,

Searching,

Both passionate souls refined in time,

Seeking that moment, that delicious second,

Millisecond,

Nanosecond, time seemingly standing still,

For it is,

Where the spark of intention broadcasts plain,

The brain no longer holds the wheel, the mind captive and captivated,

And instead the heart and soul incite you to feel,

To truly sense,

Their songs a ripe intoxication,

Such is the beauty and wonder of time,

Such is the beauty and wonder of life,

Such is the beauty and wonder of these words,

As on my shoulder, Darling, I feel the imprint,

Of My Black Dog’s paws and

Of that spectacle that only true believers feel,

That quiet unknown that roars for consideration,

Howling,

The sentiment of confused fire,

That without life IS somehow less,

But not today, not here, not now,

Not you,

As I feel the hand upon my shoulder,

Guiding these tender sentiments,

In a mind askew, distant in deliberations,

Depression,

Ripe and abhorrent, torments,

Of love come and gone,

The subtle grasp that a heart feels when lost in romance,

In you,

Releasing the past while relishing the future,

Delivered in the present, and you are a present;

No?

Serendipity revealing a wondrous accolade,

How do I clamor when I feel her blessed admissions,

Over time, she calls with premeditations understood,

Though not entirely clear,

For she speaks to the soul, beyond the minds recognition,

To my soul, beyond my comprehension,

Leashing in my hound,

Syncopating the hearts steady beat,

Jarring it into a body sensation that is without equal,

For her calling card,

Is here revealed,

For you,

For me,

For All;

For what are these words,

But the jewels in the crown,

Of this coronation,

Royal,

Like Phoenician purple,

Trading sorrow for joy,

My Black Dog,

Companion,

Dogged,

Dodged,

For real understanding,

Compassion,

Faith,

Promise and surrender,

That never before now,

Could I know,

Could you?

For what are these words,

But the true expression,

Of a wandering soul,

Captured,

Like a butterfly in a net,

Yours,

Longing to be freed,

For you,

To you,

Knowing that it is only this expression,

Of what is known,

That releases me,

Back to the Ether,

Back to you,

Back to me!

Returning To…

Are you singing?

SDM

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

But Should I?

I want more and more and then some…”

It’s true,

I’ve done it before,
And I can do it again.

I can make you love me,
But should I?

Perhaps this sounds like brash arrogance,
Or a delusion of grandeur,
But I understand the value of the content of my character,
I fully comprehend the magical quality of these words,
I know how they delight the soul,
Excite the mind,
And make the heart patter.

I can make you swoon as you’ve never before,
But should I?

As worlds apart two dreamers collide,
Untold forces of the universe,
Unseen, unheard and unknown,
Though not unfelt,
Create new paradigms,
Offering up suggestions of what could and should be,
For the great expansiveness of the cosmos,
Is nothing compared to the affairs of love.

I can write words from the ether,
Guided my by subconscious,
Flutter my fingers across these keys,
Opening for you a door to possibility,
You, yourself, may not have known existed.

I can reach deep with the essence of you,
Consuming it in an instant,
Devouring your hidden desires,
Dining on your concealed repressions,
Feasting on your true aspirations,
Manifesting them, for you,
In ways you’d never thought could be real,
Though I grapple with my own intent,
I know these things to be true.

This Warrior Poet,
Ferocious tiger of love’s momentum,
Filled with an overstandable,
(Meaning far beyond understanding) charisma,
Brought to me through cherished memories,
Of ancestors I’ve never met,
Both Irish and Scottish brogue,
And a romantic heart,
Will unseat your fears,
Tenderly wrapping them in blanketing enthusiasms,
Where emotion leaves reason behind,
Allowing you the welcome intrusion,
Of something you’ve never seen or felt before.

But should I?
Will I?
Only my Muses, guardians of my chosen light,
Mistresses Fate and Destiny along with Lady Serendipity,
Can determine that future.

From the distance of the sea of tranquility,
To the depths of the sea of love,
This Warrior Poet seeks answers within,
That I cannot be without,
For the future of who and what I am,
Depends on the subconscious appraisal,
Appraisals,
Of what I should and should not do

and whether you find the strength, courage and conviction, to,

S T A Y.

It’s true,
I’ve done it before,
And I can do it again,
I can make you love me,
But should I?

Should you,

S T A Y?

SDM

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

Only You…

Only You…

How do I pang for that someone,
Somewhere,
Out there in the ether,
The same ether that powers these words,
Tonight, as Cupid’s Conduit,
Considering this life long dream,
While My Mistresses Destiny and Fate,
Pursue the will of Lady Serendipity,
Who, in their grace
Now reveal to me what I always knew was true,
Intrinsic,
That inside of me burns the endless fire of passion’s delight,
That this chosen light,
Will not be dulled,
Cannot be suppressed,
And shall not be undone,
This Warrior Poet as love’s true voice in training,
For as yet I cannot reveal,
The full caress of these insights rare,
Where by day and night,
My only fascination,
Is the affair of the heart,
That will unleash in me, for you,
The unrestrained call of primal desire,
As guided by my ladies of the night,
Who coddle this broken heart,
Shattered by mistaken appraisals,
Piecing it back together brighter than it was before,
Allowing me the trespass of histories ghosts,
That my shadow dancing with a romantic ideal,
Will become my realized betrothed dowry,
These words though written by this hand,
Belong to your heart, your soul and your mind,
A gift so inconsequential for who you are and what you mean,
For their worth,
Are only registered,
When finally our eyes meet,
As our lips dazzle and entrance,
And the flare of our mutual appetite,
For a lifetime of embraced idealization,
Of our collective quintessential romantic dalliances,
Each and every moment of each and every day,
Together or apart,
How do I pang for you,
It’s here, plain for all to see,
Though the only one I wish to, hope to, pray for,
Is she that will finally see,
I am love,
And I belong to only you.

SDM

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized

An Epic – Soon?

Such wonder you inspire,
You are quite the phenomenon,
That my mind races,
Scrambled, shaken and stirred,
As I marvel at what you inspire,
That I may aspire,
To you,
For these words,
That my childlike innocence,
My internal Peter Pan,
Is transformed,
Desirous of adult only diversions,
And so it shall be,
That together we shall scribe,
Tales more sumptuous than the Marquis,
More sensual,
My quill and your body,
Combining into an epic,
That repeats with every thought,
Thoughts,
That repeats each time we kiss,
How do I yearn to tickle your lips anew,
Such that when beard fades into insignificance,
As it surely must,
You can recall,
The way it made you feel,
Physically and internally,
Each time my hand touches you,
The searing excitement of all the moments,
Between then and now,
Imagining you as I do,
I as you do,
Every inch of you a canvas,
Every inch of you a page that I shall fill,
Upon which I shall write my masterpiece,
You,
Will you be my masterpiece
For the very thought of you,
Alights in me a passion that is more powerful than a million suns,
A fervor I’ve only known,
As I write my tomes,
Mistress Fate and Lady Destiny,
How they can be both fickle and profoundly kind,
In this case,
Naturally, it is kind,
Reminding me of the lost treasure of desire,
The all compelling allure of a simple embrace,
Such that in my mind,
And one day soon I implore of you,
Our romantic interludes are interlaced,
With moments of lascivious rapture,
At moments gentle and tender,
At others,
Well you can imagine,
Where in my mind,
Each touch of your flesh,
Scorches my soul,
Burning excitement,
An erotic deity of my own enjoyment,
As directed by your pleasures,
May I be your pleasure,
The jubilant decadence in which you bathe,
These words,
Reward for the ultimate reemergence of Phoenix,
And out of these ashes,
Are born these delights,
How do I delight in the thought of you,
The mere thought of you,
Such enchantments that when in your arms,
Nothing else exists,
Nothing else matters,
Nothing but you,
As now,
In this moment,
Thoughts of you,
Bring on memories of transcendental bliss,
Those are as yet unwritten,
From something as simple as your smile,
The subtle curvature of your face,
Dalliances into your eyes,
Peering into you,
Savoring every inch,
From your little toe,
To the crease of your elbow,
That my body alive,
Dances at the convenience of your advances,
Longing,
Lusting,
Yearning,
Always left hungering for more,
And there is more,
For these advances are not the frivolous affairs,
Of children at play,
No,
Much more at work,
Behind the curtain of our own understanding,
Do we understand,
Can we know,
Are you the Wizard,
Is this Oz,
For surely I have followed the yellow brick road,
And the trials and tribulations of my life,
Have led,
In the now,
To you,
Like lovesick teenagers,
Suspended in time,
May it always seem so heavenly,
The awaiting climax of pheromones,
The untold,
The sacred,
The secret of the divine,
Revealed in each zealous suggestion realized,
Your touch,
My touch,
Our touches,
Deft and daft,
Each like a shot of ambrosia,
Straight to the neurons firing,
Our synapses alighting a magical consent,
Your voice,
Sending shivers down my spine,
As all I can think of,
Is the pivotal moment,
That together our bodies dance,
Less ballroom,
More tango,
Like celestial angels,
Found in each other,
If only for those deliciously seething moments,
In each touch,
As Whitman said;
“And your very flesh shall be a great poem.”
Shall we write together?
An epic poem?
Soon?

SDM

Leave a comment

Filed under Uncategorized