Tag Archives: Smile

My Name is Sender…

Lend me your eyes;

Hi, my name is Sender and I have a problem,


My life recorded invisibly on my body,

You can not see,

Or fathom,

Indelibly on my soul,

Like a crown of thorns,

Though you have already embraced it,

And ganders through the disjointed cracks of my prismatic heart,

And someday,

Should you be so lucky,

You might know me in a way that so few can or will;

Should you be so lucky?

I hope that one could be so lucky,


Who now come, seems so ready to depart,

Afraid of the possibility, possibilities,

Departure delayed, arrival uncertain,


You may find that I will endure beseeching you,

Imploring and enticing you,


In words like these,

To approach my story,

With a vulnerable mind and a sacred heart,

So that I can show you what I already know,

Just as you do,

These feelings are not the imaginary dalliances

Of delusion,

Rather the infusion of the Ether’s calling.

There are lashes, gashes, cuts and bruises,

Beyond the eyes comprehension,

Those never heal,

There are torments and tortures,

I would wish upon none but me,

Those never heal,

For though the blessing and curse exist in me,

Bipolar dualities,

This Warrior Poet, fights on,

Shattered glass heart and malfunctioning dreams.

That you never see,

Though you may feel, if, perchance,

You had the bravery,

The courage to risk it all for happiness,

As so often I do,

To stand exposed, as I am at this moment,

Though, should you find that power,

You may experience with me,

Should you be so inclined,

Touched by me as I long to touch you,

Reliving daily,

Seconds, minutes, hours and days,

In rapid succession those moments that brought me here,


Tracing my restlessness with rabid delights,

Delights like you,


My fingers like Picasso’s brush,

And Van Gogh palette,

My authenticity falsely imprisoned in cubist fragments,

A sick joke played by my psyche as

My veracity self realized,

And abused,

Calls forth the divine intention of a personal gentrification,

You may unearth,

That when I implore you,

I am pained beyond words,

Except when I see your smile,

From those big brown eyes

And your radiant soul,

While revealing to you I am stretched across my canvas,

At your behest,

I am thrust into the eye of the storm,

That life has constantly divulged to me,

Dark clouds, gathering and furious storms

And my Black Dog.

As soon as one episode ends without a laugh track,

Another begins,

Up and down,

Down and up,

A silent movie,

While Charlie Chaplin prays us smile,

I can paint a smile on my face,

Rehearsed and like a costume, hiding,

It does little to conceal my contempt,

For this plight,

I am caught inside the cage where the bird cannot,

Does not,

Will not sing,

Though the beautiful song is so clear,

All I need do is vocalize it,

As I have,

Watching as I do,

Interned and waiting,

For my turn to reveal more,


So that you might understand,


What makes me tick,

What drives me onward,

What removes the veil,

And the answer Muse, is you,

Thus as a proverbial bride,

In this revelation,

You will carry me across the threshold,

So that I can intimately express to you,

That my scars are the graffiti

Imprinting my story on my body,

My heart, mind and soul,

And in that moment,

You will have me,


As I have already,

Tagged you,





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Mon Cles Divine

With one look of your eyes,
(Those I had long since believed did not exist)
One peering glance,
(One I never thought I’d see)
You break through the chain male armor,
(Male as in Me)
Of a soul that longed for you,
Prayed for you,
(He/She/It/They or the Ether listened)
Dreamed of you,
(Nightly since a little boy)
With every adult fiber of my being,
(Knowing true Muse must eventually appear)
Considering virtue,
(Despite invitations from the Sirens)
Fostered by an unshakable faith,
(Two souls eventually collide)
An unprecedented belief,
(Save for those with an artistic slant)
In the power which understood,
(More than I ever could)
Acknowledged and revealed,
(With one blessed look)
The infinite wisdom,
(Of blessed truths)
Of love requited unconditional,
(For Muse is always without condition)
On a foundation,
(Rock solid)
Of daily discovery and affirmation,
(Kisses, more kisses)
(Anew and Reinvigorated)
Angelic grace,
(As your face clearly paints)
Through virtue understated,
(But not mistaken)
By you,
(In spite of my faults; Black Dogs and voices)
In the revealing reflections,
(Of mirrored souls)
Of your eyes,
(The window)
The universe unfolding,
(In multiple dimensions)
One atom at a time,
(The “God” Particle?)
(With every breath)
By promise,
(At once believed)
And the realization of potential,
(Infinite loops and unified love theory)
On wings only visible,
(Less Icarus and more Cherubim)
By those that truly see,
(And I now can, see)
Through something that can’t be explained,
(Nor should it)
You have come,
(Mon Cles)
And with the grace of the tooth fairy,
(Imagined friends, less imagined)
My pillow,
Every morning,
(A gift from the stars)
Has born the just reward,
(Of a lifetime of want and need)
For the daring,
The curious,
(And I)
The scared,
(And I)
Who can believe, I and I and I,
In the sacred power,
(Of my Mistresses Serendipity and Fate)
Of a divine trust,
(Between lover and loved)
Wisdom in the revelation of this song,
(Only for you)
That glorious song,
(Syncopated breaths and beats)
All lovers hear,
(Listening to the bodies desire)
At the smack of the soul,
(Meet, Greet and Complete each other)
Manifested by the lips,
(Gleefully, more kisses)
Thank you Sages,
(For revealing to me)
Best friend, confidant, and every day more,
(Knowing what I have always known)
(With a delirious chuckle and desirous smile)
Virtues eternal curiosity,
(Where these words dance)
(Every moment of every day)


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A Love Letter (With All My Heart, Mind, Body and Soul)


All My Heart (A Love Letter to Someone Special)

My Love, My Monkey;

Since my birth I have dreamt of your arrival. A loving boy who always knew that you would arrive. I did not know where or when, how or why, but I knew, steadfastly, that you would arrive.

And here you are, arrived on gilded chariots  from parts unknown though I suspect you are heaven sent. I suspect that you were made for me and I was made for you – soul mates in the universal sense of the word in that our energies have brought us together in this place and at this time.

The moment I laid eyes on you my soul was set ablaze by your resplendent beauty and I am not speaking of your hair or your eyes, though wondrously beautiful, I am not speaking of your bosom or your bottom, though also spectacular, I speak of course, of your spiritual beauty. The parts that none sees and certainly can not necessarily understand. I did, in an instant. It was unmistakable the moment I saw it – And in that moment I became yours – completely, without question or reservation. Unequivocally yours ever more.

Your divine spirit and profound energy lift me to a place that I have never been, to a place I had imagined existed though only found in you. They inspire me to reach for the furthest advances of our universe to taking you to a place that you have never been. A place that I have never been.  A place we now get to discover together and what a gift that is. I am humbled by your presence in my life and feel that I have won the universal love prize – You! Are you truly mine?

They say; “Home is where the heart is,” and I have never truly known a home. Until now! Until here! Until you! Taking time to discover our universal creation of this eternal bliss…

In you I have found a place that I can and will call home and like a giddy school child I am excited to understand the recesses of you. I am ready to play emotional tag learning the ins and outs of you completely. I am ready, willing and able to be the father of your children and know that they will be the most beautiful expression of the love we share. The embodiment of our love for all the world to see. No longer repressed or hidden, instead, shining, like the sun in day and the stars at night.

Your smile could light up a black hole and every room you enter it is your smile that is the tractor beam of everyone’s attention. The way you giggle with delight at the simplest of things tickles my soul as only a muse can and you most assuredly are my muse.

My muse, I heard once the most beautiful statement and I include it here for it is truly how I feel. Beethoven wrote to an unknown lover and started each letter with My Immortal Beloved and for me you have become just that, My Immortal Beloved.

You are the air that I breathe, the blood rushing through my veins, you are the center of my universe and I aspire to be everything and more that you desire. I beseech you, My Immortal Beloved, dance this dance with me to infinity, that we may know love in ways we never imagined. In ways the world has never witnessed. Together becoming a new meaning for the word – Love.

Dance with me to the sweet surrender. Dance with me to the end of time. Dance with me my muse into the many tomorrows we will share and let us together find the ultimate pleasure of agape love each morning anew as we awake in each others arms. Together confidant in the knowledge that I was born and made for you and you were born and made for me.

Having fallen seven times figuratively, I get up eight, literally, for you;

My Immortal Believed, I am yours evermore,





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The Gravitational Force of Light

In the darkness devoured,
My soul had sunk into Virgil’s pit,
Where Dante laughed,
As Cerberus feasted on my desolations,
Wanderlust and curious fascinations,
Believing that this was home,
Until you,
When screaming and tortured souls
Have been instantly transformed,
By the angelic quality of your smile,
The once gathering clouds have abated,
Giving way to a beauty reserved for
What dreams may come,
And come they have,
You have,

The gravitational force of light, of love,
Unleashing in me an elegant reappraisal,
Of all I thought was true,
On this journey of self discovery,
Blessed deity without compromise,
Enlightenment in your poise,
As reminiscences of Aphrodite call to my heart strings with hushed murmurs of your name,
Everything once known is foreign,
Everything once foreign is known,
As now I beseech you to open your sixth sense,
Such that you can devour what you already know is true,
Or should,
For hand in hand,
As our eyes locked,
And our words tangled,
We both felt at ease,
When was the last time I felt at ease?
So while you shine,
Which you effortlessly do,
Beaming positive radiance,
Defying space, logic and time,
May I please adore you,
That your smile brighter dislodge this trembling existence ,
May I take care of you,
Allowing you to see a life lighter,
May I profess universal truths,
That you yourself have revealed to me,
May I beseech you,
Implore you,
Revere you
And beg,
That you,
Return to,


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Happy Valentine’s Day

Happy Valentine’s Day
Lovers lost the world over,
Be still your heart,
Calm your frayed nerves,
And excite the possibility of hope,
The tantalizing opportunity that sure will arise,
For without such hope all is lost,
So please look within and tap that great strength,
That has brought you to here,
Kept you going,
In the absence of that special smile,
A tender kiss or a telling hug,
Know that this life is long,
That as the days go by,
Someone, somewhere and sometime,
Is going to enter your life,
Turning upside down and backside up again,
Everything you once thought you knew,
Flies out the window,
On butterfly wings that start in your stomach,
The fevered pitch of emotional grandeur,
When love first excited your every fiber,
It is out there,
The time is not yet nigh,
Though, without a doubt, you will know,
It will smack of ill reason and faulty logic,
Be still your heart,
Discover the love that you have for yourself,
Embrace it, cultivate it and allow your spirit to shine,
For when love approaches, you must be ready,
That you may share that intrinsic beauty with another,
Whose feelings,
Will be just as ripe as your own,
Seen in that telltale look,
That will melt away all troubled feelings of past transgressions,
Love is not a spectator sport,
Requiring your continued effort,
As your soul ascends to the heavens,
Dancing with a pleasure you’ll adore,
So sit back, don’t look for it and know,
Your desires soon will allow you to soar,
As lovers always do,
And seeing your face,
I know,
As all I can whisper,

And shine with me!

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As I am,
I would like to dress up,
In your essence,
So that I may better understand you,
As the intrigue of something new and wonderful,
Reveals that the human heart,
My heart,
Is consistent in its capacity for healing.

As I am,
Will you let me,
Dine at the table of your elegance,
Surely a banquet beyond words,
So that I may become a better man,
For you,
Your delectable poise as dessert,
May I dine,
With you?

As I am,
I would like to understand the worst of you,
As you do me,
Your darkest secrets,
So that I can have a deeper appreciation,
Of all that is wondrous,
All that attracts me to you,
Cultivate together our intellects,
So that I may have daily enticements,
WE may have them,
Conversations as easy as breathing,
And just as delightful as making love,
If not more so.

As I am,
My mind is like gibberish,
Searching for the perfect expression,
Of how you make me smile,
The very thought of you,
Your smile,
Your voice,
Your scent,
Make me once again dream,
Of the next time I get to hold you dear,
Near perfection,

As I am.


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Longing for YOU!

I still find myself thinking of you,
The lustful fire that brought us together,
The intense passion that swirled,
That mentally still does,
One I can recall at any moment,
Merely by imagining your perfect little body,
Your inspiring mind,
Your beautifully menacing smile,
Realizing that you saw a piece of me,
That I myself am yet to understand,
Of course it is too soon,
And in your care and compassion,
You had the verve to tell me,
Though I still think about both good,
And long times,
Pondering the smile on your balcony,
The one that revealed things in an instant,
that neither of us wanted revealed,
for passion is not love,
desire is not love,
lust is not love,
even if it is on fire,
with you I found that it was alright,
for me to be myself,
for you accepted all of me,
knowing that I was wounded,
knowing that I still am,
I still find myself thinking about you,
How words slipped from my mouth,
That I wish I could have contained,
Lashing out at you,
In place of another,
Lashing out at you,
Because of another,
And that leaves me empty and cold,
Wishing that I could somehow turn back time,
Take back the tempered insanity,
The alcohol fueled rage that had absolutely nothing to do with you,
I can’t take it back,
I can’t change it,
Though I must seek to understand it,
To understand me,
To find the space to allow myself,
Once again,
To find my way if not to you than another,
And another and another,
My greatest desire,
Still unattained,
My greatest desire,
May remain,
Creating a chasm that no lilac can fill,
For I know what I did,
Though I don’t know how,
I know what I did,
Though I don’t know why,
Involving you in a melodrama that had begun,
Less than a month before,
Lashing out at you,
In place of another,
And you knew,
And you knew,
Still your kindness reigned,
And you forgave me my alters trespass,
You forgave me though maybe not him,
For I certainly have not,
And now all I have,
Is the dazzling memory,
The marvelous surrender of me to you,
And you to me,
Of tender kisses,
Of caressing you as you slept,
Of the distinct sweat smell of two bodies thoroughly engaged,
Carried to me on imagined gusts,
That lingers on me,
As your fingers did,
And I am longing for you,
As I think about your smile.


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