Tag Archives: surrender

B U C C A H – Love Repeats (A Manifesto for my Ang)

In this life granted,

Blessed,

Recycled stardust filtering through space and time,

At speeds, we are yet to comprehend,

Yet to achieve,

We struggle, we fight, we lust and long,

For another speck,

Of billions old dust,

To crash and comingle with our own,

On an earthly plain,

Feeling our pain and driving our desires,

With cosmic consequences,

Though circumstance,

And the fickle finger of fate,

Often leads us astray,

Love extinction level event,

For reasons we are yet to comprehend,

Yet,

Love repeats,

The universe is not so cruel and unforgiving,

We,

As sentient beings,

Are not always aware of the monumental reasons of the Ether,

Those conditions that lead us to surrender to another,

Embrace, behold, and uplift,

Engage and plea to create another part of the multiverse;

 

Nevertheless, the best laid plans of mice and men,

(And women)

Are often lead astray,

Bringing darkness to the day,

Leaving us to stare,

From the gutter,

Up,

To see the stars…

My Ang,

Look out to those stars,

Realize we are them,

They are within us,

And somehow,

Find the courage of conviction to know,

That though it be day here,

Evening there,

Those stars,

You’ll see,

We share them,

Cosmically connected,

Like the twins of Gemini,

Long lost cousins and life long friends,

Don’t dare call me Pollux!
For in your light I am but Castor;

 

And know that out there another soul is crying for you,

Knowing you are out there,

Just waiting to be discovered,

Just as Ptolemy first did,

As each of us, your friends, already has,

To love you,

In ways we never can.

 

Perhaps,

For even this warrior poet sage is unsure,

Those that run for the border,

Are the building blocks,

The corner stone refused,

The foundation,

Of the love that will manifest,

When we decide,

To trust in our billions years old destiny,

That those who resist fidelity and serendipity,

Are in fact in the end,

The ones responsible for it.

And though the pain is real,

You must embrace it, squeeze it to death,

For,

In the moment,

This too shall pass,

When out of the corner of your eye,

You’ll see a flick of hair,

An awakened soul,

Reaching for you in ways you’ll never understand,

Nor need to,

Because you will be blind to everyone else,

As he will be to you.

Perchance,

This is your time to rise,

Rise to the magic that is you,

Perchance,

This is your time,

To reinvent the beauty that is already you,

Moreover, always remember,

The best revenge,

Is happiness?

For love repeats,

And eventually those that leave realize,

The mistake was theirs all along.

LOVE REPEATS…

BUCCAH!

For my dear friend and cosmic companion from the voices in my head and the Ether.

WE LOVE YOU, Always have and always will. Love and Light,

SDM

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Continuum of I

escher stars

Now left to consider,

A future bare,

My mind a shell fragment,

That currently winds its way,

Most painfully,

Through every part of my being,

Like an Escher of an Escher of an Escher,

A life once realized,

Once promised;

 

Is the failure of everything?

At least for I and I and I…

 

If there were justice,

No man or woman would have to surrender these feelings,

The unrequited and unrelenting tumult,

That rips through the very texture of space and time,

As the realm of the possible,

Has become a bleak future,

An emotional capitulation that surely will force me,

To the brink of the universe,

In an act of conditional surrender,

To momentary truth,

I am standing proud,

Not of all I’ve done,

But certainly of my conduct at present,

As I try to make it easier for you,

Knowing that I owe you,

My strength right now,

So reliant on you,

I wonder how,

When I have searched the seven seas,

Travelled billions of miles to find you,

Now seeming poised to spread your wings and fly away,

From our love banquet,

That now seems like a bestial abandonment,

Loosing the only person that has kept me alive,

Of course there is always the future,

And the reconciliation of love lost,

Though that knowledge,

Cold comfort,

As my manifest destiny,

Is revealed to be,

A lifetime of pain.

 

Your freedom assured,

At least in the physical world,

Your emotional survival too,

Assured,

As this is of your design,

Of your making,

And,

As I always have,

I stand with you,

Despite the difficulty in doing so –

 

Making decisions,

Life affecting and altering decisions,

Forcing me to the edge of reason,

Where my demons preside,

As they have for twenty years,

Old wounds again become new,

Teetering on the razor thin line of my convictions,

Compromised,

For the greater good,

For your greater good,

Seemingly for us;

 

Dangerous considerations,

When I gave up the very treasure I long for most in this world,

Now deserted by choice,

With festering deliberations,

That linger,

Filtering through every part of me,

Wounded pride will heal,

Though this apparent demise,

Was not just the absconding of words held only to myself,

All these years,

It was I and I and I’s doppelganger,

The gang inside my head,

As the vicious screams begin anew…

 

Perhaps,

Someday,

The pain and sacrifice will make sense,

Revealing some uncharted fate,

Yet unfulfilled,

Necessitating,

Love will return,

Though for me,

It will never go away.

 

SDM

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Sender UpWords

Perhaps a pithy surrender is in order,
Perhaps,
As clearly you have already forged your away across my line,
Defenseless as I consider your advance,
So I redraw in my psyche,
To prevent my own demise,
For the first time in my life doing exactly what I must do,
Fighting through the discomfort,
Fighting through the pain,
My dogged visitor,
Black as the night,
Barking and howling at the moon,
That Black Dog fights me for my own survival,
Not realizing that shall I falter,
Will mean it’s own demise,
So yes,
Perhaps a pithy surrender,
Is exactly what this tender soul requires,
Perhaps a pithy surrender,
Is the Gods cry,
That I must go on,
That this is the dawn of a new day,
Filled with opportunity and hope,
While the promise of tomorrow,
Is still the battle that I wage,
Somewhere between my rhythmic beat,
Of my murmuring heart,
And the swollen charge,
Of my minds delight,
Perhaps this swelling assault,
Is fates courteous response,
To the light that shines inside of me,
The light that was almost extinguished,
By ripe cancellation,
All that I believed,
Revealed to be a years long falsehood,
A convenience,
Though now it seems,
That I am rushing forward,
Trying to reclaim that light in me,
That so obviously presents itself here,
My history unkind,
With this troubled mind,
Precious,
As I feel the divine flowing through me,
The ether,
Calling out for me to live up to that promise,
Not tomorrow,
But today,
If mankind could only understand the value of the present,
Leaving the past behind,
And the future to what is done this day,
As I sit here blushing,
Considering the macro and the micro,
My own quantum,
Thinking about what you’ve said,
Knowing what you haven’t
Oddly comfortable with the temptations,
That you inspire,
To which I aspire,
Nothing more,
Than the honesty of my soul,
The freedom to be who I have to be,
For I have no choice,
The ether commands,
Now,
So that the future is exactly what has been done today,
As every day,
Words,
Words,
And more words,
The key that removes the handcuffs,
Of this over analyzing mind,
Discovering anew,
What I require,
To be copacetic,
By my own hand,
By my own desire,
Determined to be what I am and nothing more,
And by my own design,
Writer, lover, and a better man,
Sender,
Upwords!

SDM

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The Importance of Muse (4)

Surrender,
Sweet,
Surrender,
As I do,
I must,
For only at the altar of your feet am I exalted,
Propelled to a dimensional plain,
Of theories,
Strings and things,
Where consequence is chaos
And inconsequential
And action is order,
Called by you,
As I am,
Daily from across the universe,
Your haunting voice an echo from my past
And a deliverance to my future,
Muse,
Sweet,
Dear Muse,
How do I crave your affection,
For these words as much as for those eyes,
Undressing you
The lips that long to kiss you,
The hands that seem like thumbs,
Without yours intertwined,
Unbound,
Found,
In the words you sponsor,
Fostering in me a light that even I did not know,
Could not see,
Would not share,
But for these words,
Wherein I am both lost and found,
As in you,
Muse,
Lost and found,
Mostly found,
Yet happily lost,
Gazing as I have, do and will,
At those precious lines that alight your experience
And foreshadow a future as yet unknown,
Not shown,
Fully blown,
Away,
By you,
Muse!

Muse,

My heart yearns for more,

More than you may,

Less than I will,
Knowing that my destiny,
Wherever it shall be,
Involves a special choice,
Destined to reveal,
More of me to me,
Of you to you,
The answers sought,
In glimpses caught,
Together,
Knowing,
Unknowing,
Sowing the seeds of our redemption,
One kiss at a time,
Feeling that yesterday is gone,
Today is a gift
And we’ll never know what tomorrow brings,
Even in a love such as ours will be,
I long for you,
Pang painfully,
Motionless,
Like an emotional quicksand,
Believing and conceding,
All that I am,
All that I could be
And all that I was
For the solemn promise
Of that elusive forever,
That I have always sought,
For naught,
But for you,

Muse
Whomever you are,

Muse
Wherever you are,

Muse
I will find you,
I will die trying to find you,
I must find you,
As destiny commands,
For this performance,
Will be an encore daily relived,
Daily revived,
Daily,
Showing and knowing,
What love is and should be,
Because of your smile,
All the while undressing my soul,
As a present for you,
To we.

SDM

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Love’s Song

Love’s song,
That beautiful melody,
Of uncharted yet explored inventions,
Mysterious and complex whimsy,
Heard the world round,
Two by two,
Souls unexplained affections,
Those that outstrip reason,
None required,
When two eyes clash wondrously,
Sometimes from across a room,
Other times across a table on a first date,
And still others people that a lifetime have been known,
But not KNOWN,
To each other,
Then a deep enthralling kiss,
One that changes lives forever,
True expression of Cupid’s design,
So powerful and unrelenting,
(not to mention divinely impressive)
It recalls love’s first entrancing moment,
Youthful exuberance,
Blind, not yet aware,
Of the complexities of such splendor,
The electrical charge,
Informing of nature’s role,
When two lips, tongues and bodies collide,
Demanding inelegantly of them,
All that they are,
Good, bad or indifferent,
Opening up oneself,
Freely and without compromise,
Such that usual distortions,
The masks worn by all,
Fall to the wayside,
Scolded by emotion,
Reason leaves,
Allowing chemical actions and reactions,
Between two otherwise uninterested bodies,
Those now share a universal truth,
While interlocked in sweet surrender,
Lounging inside each others insecurity,
Discovering what it means to be truly alive,
To be who and what they are,
Letting loose the howling winds of insecurity,
While in another’s arms,
Feeling the absolute safety of truth,
Honour, trust, hope and the possibility,
For a lifetime,
Of shared illusion,
Captured perfectly,
In the glint of that lovers eyes,
When love’s song,
Is played within.

SDM

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Quantum Mechanics of Love

The quantum mechanics of love,
Are easily,
The most complex and misunderstood,
The most intelligent have not solved it,
The most insightful can not quite grasp,
There is no rhyme or reason,
We try to explain, dissect and comprehend,
The incomprehensible,
Though,
Of all human mysteries,
I often wonder,
How in one minute,
A chemical attraction,
Firing across a room,
Any room,
On any day and time,
Can lead two otherwise unaware souls,
To a life imagined,
Love and marriage,
White picket fence,
And a dog named spot,
Filled with the splendor of enflamed passions,
How,
In just one moment,
Two pairs of eyes can meet,
And the attraction,
Instantaneously propels them to another place,
Where only love,
ONLY LOVE,
Can provide the answers,
Will provide the answers,
LOVE is the answer,
And in that one blessed moment,
Of universal clarity,
The serendipitous becomes plain for all the world to see,
For surely,
If two lovers,
Those meet and greet under such conditions
(as all lovers do),
fail to see the blessed gift that stands before them,
it would lead to the collapse of the infinite,
for the rules of the cosmos,
require the bright flame of love,
to sustain our daily sufferings,
to counteract pain with joy,
sorrow with laughter,
longing with a kiss,
a sweet kiss,
the surrender of the rational,
for the more esoteric,
an effusive desire,
that takes hold and won’t let go,
the quantum mechanics of love,
are the secrets,
Those refuse to relinquish their truths,
save for when boy meets girl,
boy meets boy, girl meets girl,
or girl meets boy.

Would you like to meet,
Perhaps,
The other side of Jupiter,
Table for two,

Me,
And,
YOU…

Destiny awaits!

SDM

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Love – A Personal Treatise

I believe in love at first sight,
I’ve been lucky enough to know it,
Once.

I believe that not a single word must be spoken,
For there are levels of communication,
That even our brightest minds cannot fathom.

I believe that from across a room or an ocean, you know,
Perhaps its atoms smashing, chemicals reacting, or some great unknown,
But it is real and with the right circumstances, you’ll know in an instant.

I believe that in that instant everything changes,
Neurons fire, endorphins emit untold scents,
And primal reactions are plain violating the laws of nature itself.

I believe that two souls, drawn together, mating, is the purpose of our lives,
To share experiences, through good and bad,
To uplift another with precious intent,
To share in every moment, the minutiae and the grand affairs.

I believe that the supposed romanticized ideal of which I write, constantly,
Should be that love, for which we all strive,
A romance that is played out daily,
As equal partners in a life long journey,
With no destination in sight.

I believe in love,
Despite my soured experience,
But my love is not confined by the limitations of past surrender,
Rather is inspired by the potentiality of you,
Whoever you are.

I believe that the greatest gift we’ll ever know,
Is the deep and penetrating caress as two lovers eyes meet,
Drawing in to a personal universe,
Creating a divined spark of inspiration,
One that reaches so far within,
It feels as if they are physically touching your heart,
Stroking and protecting it.

I believe in love,
I believe in the daily pursuit of romance,
For that special one,
Your one true love,
Knowing as I do,
That whether it be days, weeks, months or years,
She will understand me,
And I will understand her,
Because of love.

SDM

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